My Dad, who is not in his right mind, is verbally abusing my Mom, and is threatening to take all their money out of their accounts. What is the process?
If your Mom has dementia you do not want her to become POA for your Dad. It sounds like you will have to step in and become Guardian for both of them. (You or another member of the family) The last thing you need is for someone that has been diagnosed with any form of dementia to have POA or Guardianship of someone else. Has your Dad been checked? If this is a new "personality" that he is exhibiting that may be a change in his mental status as well. Or it could be that if he is caring for your Mom as well he my be stressed out, frustrated, angry. Caregiver burnout is common and even if he is not the primary caregiver watching your wife decline is not easy. Contact an Elder Care Attorney and begin Guardianship proceedings. I normally am the last one to suggest this because it can be time consuming process, fairly expensive due to having to go to court fairly often. (at least if there is money and property. Once there is no money nor property you become Guardian of the Person and not Guardian of the Estate and the Person. then there are fewer court appearances and you just have to file paperwork)
Bottom line ... do NOT let your Mom become POA. and with dementia she should not have access to bank accounts either.
ldphilippi, I see from your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia, is that correct? If yes, then it would be difficult for her to be anyone's Power of Attorney.
As Barb mentioned above, only your Dad can assigned your Mom to be his Power of Attorney but only if your Dad can understand legal documents. If not, then it is too late to get a Power of Attorney.
I also agree have Dad checked to see if he has an Urinary Tract Infection as that can cause an older person to be abusive. The family doctor can run the test, and yes, there is a cure.
I'm very sorry to hear about your dad's behaviour. I would try and call Adult Protective Services and see if a social worker can help you explore all your options to ensure your mom and dad's well being. I wonder if there has been a change in your dad's medication or mental or physical being that has caused this change in behaviour. I know its hard and I'm glad you are looking out for your mom.
A lawyer, I agree, just o make sure she does everything legally.
Is her name on the accounts, too. If so, seevif the bank will allow her to take out the money (or even half of it) and set up an account of her own. Many a spouse have gone to the bank and cleaned out accounts and left the other high and dry. Banks never question it if both names are on the acct.
Mom could Sue to get guardianship, but it's a long and expensive process.
Did dad become abusive and deranged all of a sudden? Be aware that that might indicate a UTI.
I'm any event, if dad has had a sudden change in mental status, it should be reported to his doctor, or just get him to the ER.
It sounds like you will have to step in and become Guardian for both of them. (You or another member of the family)
The last thing you need is for someone that has been diagnosed with any form of dementia to have POA or Guardianship of someone else.
Has your Dad been checked? If this is a new "personality" that he is exhibiting that may be a change in his mental status as well. Or it could be that if he is caring for your Mom as well he my be stressed out, frustrated, angry. Caregiver burnout is common and even if he is not the primary caregiver watching your wife decline is not easy.
Contact an Elder Care Attorney and begin Guardianship proceedings. I normally am the last one to suggest this because it can be time consuming process, fairly expensive due to having to go to court fairly often. (at least if there is money and property. Once there is no money nor property you become Guardian of the Person and not Guardian of the Estate and the Person. then there are fewer court appearances and you just have to file paperwork)
Bottom line ... do NOT let your Mom become POA. and with dementia she should not have access to bank accounts either.
As Barb mentioned above, only your Dad can assigned your Mom to be his Power of Attorney but only if your Dad can understand legal documents. If not, then it is too late to get a Power of Attorney.
I also agree have Dad checked to see if he has an Urinary Tract Infection as that can cause an older person to be abusive. The family doctor can run the test, and yes, there is a cure.
Is her name on the accounts, too. If so, seevif the bank will allow her to take out the money (or even half of it) and set up an account of her own. Many a spouse have gone to the bank and cleaned out accounts and left the other high and dry. Banks never question it if both names are on the acct.
See All Answers