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My mother has never been diagnosed with any type of memory disorders, and had almost thought the doctor had overlooked something, but then realized that her memory is sharp as a tack when she speaks to someone about the past. Her past, my brothers, her brothers, sister, momma, daddy, old friends, jobs she's had, my dad, trips she's taken, songs, etc. You get the idea.


My thing is. She has no memories of her and I. None.


I ask her for one memory, just one, she just stared at me with a blank look on her face.


Needless to say I am devastated. We have gone on so many trips together across country. We've done so much together. I have wonderful memories and she has none. I have been erased from her mind.


I'm confused as to how this could happen, I'm angry that I have given up my life to make sure she is taken care of, I quit my job a year ago to move home and be her caregiver. She is 95 years young but still able to get around as well as expected.


I'm her only daughter and the baby of the family. My brothers are no help. So its basicly just me to keep this house running smoothly. And trust me it ain't easy.


But I would think out of anyone else on this earth, I would be the last person she would forget.


Someone out there please tell me you've gone thru this and tell me how do I cope with 58yrs of memories being forgotten. How do I get thru the anger of feeling like I've been erased.

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I am so sorry you are going through this. I think the memory book is a good idea, with the caveat it may not work.

You know in your heart what you have done to care for her. And you know the memories the two of you have shared. Write those down for you as well as for her. Alas, this happens. Hugs to you, OP.
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If you have pictures of some of your adventures together, put them in a photo album and label them with dates and locations, that you can enjoy together. This MIGHT help to spark her memory. Even if it doesn't help her to remember the good times you have had together, it WILL help you to remember them.
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Mymommaskeeper Feb 10, 2019
Thank you so much. I will definately try your suggestion. It sounds like it may work. I'll keep you posted . Thank you for your help. God Bless
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Perhaps she remembers you as a child, but can't relate that to you as a mid age person. Try talking to her about you as a child in the third person, without needing to say that it's actually you. It might bring up lots of memories and make you feel better, even if it doesn't provide the thanks that you deserve.
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freqflyer Jan 2, 2019
Excellent idea, MargaretMcKen :)
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MyMom- I am the baby daughter to my Mom of six children. She too has soo many stories revolving around her childhood, my Dad and my brothers and sisters. She rarely has a story of she and I. I often say to her remember when we did such and such and she does not remember. I know my Mom loves me and we were very close when I was growing up. I am not sure why this is.
But, I understand, I get my feelings hurt sometimes when she will tell a stroy and I was there a very present part of the story but she might remember it as someone else or just wipes me out of the story altogether.
Again, I do not know why. I am sure that there is a reason, but try not to worry too much about it. It is the here and now that is important, and we will not have them with us on this earth forever.
Maybe there is something to the fact that we as their caregivers have to be separated from we as their children in their mind. I don't know.
But don't let it bother you too much.
May God bless you in your journey.
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So sorry this happens to you. Does your mom forget anyone else? Or just you? Any chance she pretends to forget because she's upset with you for some reason?

I don't have experience with selective memory loss. Hopefully, someone who does will come along.
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Mymommaskeeper Feb 10, 2019
No she remembers all the rest of the family. I think maybe since I'm the caregiver, she sees me as an outsider on a professional level, and cant blend in the fact that I am her daughter also.
Im giving it to God and just keep praying that she will know me before she leaves this earth.
Thank you for your caring and concern.
Gof Bless
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