Can medication to help with paranoia shorten people's lives?

I would ask the doctor for more specifics, including which meds might apply, medically verified research, etc.   He or she would be the best source, then you can follow up on the topics suggested for research.    

The issue you raise is one that might be addressed by some of the medical pros here, but since you raise the issue of finding another doctor, I would give this one a chance to explain his/her position.

Or you could just start with a basic search:

https://www.google.com/search?q=meds+for+paranoia&ei=TePIYPuMGYyztQb8vJmYCQ&oq=meds+for+paranoia&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAMyAggAMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjIFCAAQhgMyBQgAEIYDMgUIABCGAzIFCAAQhgM6CAguEJECEJMCOgsILhDHARCvARCRAjoICC4QxwEQowI6CwguELEDEMcBEKMCOgIILjoFCAAQsQM6BAgAEEM6DgguELEDEMcBEKMCEJECOgUILhCRAjoFCAAQkQI6CgguEMcBEK8BEEM6BQgAEMkDOgUIABCSAzoQCC4QsQMQxwEQrwEQQxCTAjoICC4QxwEQrwE6CAgAELEDEIMBOg0ILhCxAxDHARCjAhBDOgUILhCxA1DevU9YndJPYOnTT2gAcAB4AIABmwGIAcgLkgEEMTcuMZgBAKABAaoBB2d3cy13aXrAAQE&sclient=gws-wiz&ved=0ahUKEwi75-_ylJrxAhWMWc0KHXxeBpMQ4dUDCA0&uact=5#spf=1623779657468

I didn't check the NIH files but I've found their information to be professional and well presented, even if it is often hard for a nonmedical person to understand.

Ok VERY personal opinion here but....
FACTS:
MIL is 94
SUFFERS from delusions and paranoid behavior.
She is miserable.
Let us suppose that medication for the paranoia and delusions will decrease her life by 2 years. (purely theoretical)
She can live a more calm, peaceful, life for 2 years. This 2 years is more enjoyable for her and for the family so the visits are more pleasurable.
OR
No medication and she can continue to suffer with the paranoia and delusions for...how long? No one knows.

Unless the doctor can tell you how long she will live without the medication and how long she can live with medication him telling you that it will shorten her life is a meaningless statement.

I would much rather have a shorter more relaxed, calm existence than be plagued by paranoia and delusions and wish I were dead.

As an RN I can say it sounds like hooey to me as well, Lakergirl. And to be very frank, at 94 we are down not to QUANTITY of life, but of QUALITY of wife. This MD sounds quite odd to me. As a nurse I knew a few odd ones, but not quite THIS odd, if what you say is true.

"...We're not close and have to rely on my BIL and SIL for information..." Your spouse should be calling his or her sibling and discussing your MIL's quality of life and getting her seen by a geriatrician who can prescribe her medications for the paranoid delusions. She is not a prisoner beholden to the facility's doctor for all her medical care, right?

Thank you, I really appreciate it.

Mother has medication for paranoia and lived to 106,. It helped her a great deal by improving her quality of life. As your grandma is 94 it seem sensible to be more concerned about quality of life rather than quantity. It was never mentioned to me by any of the doctors that attended mother that the antipsychotic would shorten her life. Look up antipsychotics and their side effects. How do BIL and SIl view this stance by the facility doctor?

I agree she should be seen by a geriatrician or geriatric psychiatrist.

TG for the Nurses on this forum, Alva for one. I am not a nurse but this sounds like a bunch of hooey. An AL is not a prison. You have a right to get a second opinion and take Mom to a Neurologist. I would say the doctor at the AL is a GP. They know a little of everything but aren't specialists. As said its now quality over quantity.