Follow
Share

My step bro. has POA over my dad’s estate. I’ve taken care of my dad & lived in his home for 12-13 yrs. & paid by my POA bro. $160./ month, cash. I NEVER had a day off, no weekends or holidays. One bro. would visit week days a few hours, while the POA would visit 1-2 a week. But they never helped with any of dad’s care. I recently hurt my back trying to break dad’s fall & ended up in the hospital, (several herniated discs & nerve damage) & eventually rehab, where I’m learning to walk & trying to control my bladder. The POA sent a letter, stating,“you abandoned our father & I had to hire two caregivers. We’ve changed the locks, come & get your belongings, or they’ll be tossed into the trash.” I weigh 105 lb. & am 5’ 2”. I not only cared for dad, but did ALL the house work (windows included), cooked three meals/ day, did all the grocery shopping, yard work, laundry, everything! I did it out of love for dad! A second letter arrived from POA stating, I was given free: rent, satellite TV, phone, gas, electricity & use of a car, all this was already in the home before I began caring for dad. NOTHING was added after my arrival. The 15 y. o. car’s maintenance, tags & insurance, were deducted from the $160./month. Presently two caregivers are doing the job I did, ALONE! The POA stated if I tried to fight him for anything, he’d use MY money to fight me! I’m assuming maybe dad left me a little something in the living trust, but I don’t know. I’m still in rehab & have no place to go. The POA sent me a check for a $5000. & allowed my neighbors to collected my belongings to store them. The POA didn’t state what the check was for, relocation expenses, or what. Do I have a legal right to view the living trust? My dad once mentioned he would leave something for me after his demise.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Heghter or employee you are entitled to slip and fall. Get attorney. 2 you were told by your father a monetary intrest was assigned to you.Then you are in and part of trust. Is he not allowing contact with your father. Is you father ok did he suffer injury.It is illegal and violation of rights possiblye false inprisionment to not allow visitor. Especially as close a tieas you see to have had with your father. The aada 505 allows monetary damages down the chain of command. Reasonable accomodations would be to allow you to heal.If your father was fall prone thete should have been help proven by that he had to hire two people to replace you. Proving reasonable a ccomodations werenotmade for you asacaregiver nor your father.As client at mercy of poa. Yes get statements from people when where and how you cared for your father. Your brother consider you an employee not family. Then slap as fudicial a american disability lawsuit on him. That is through state local disability advocates. Pennsylvania ada bas is in penn. Look up on line or phonebook. If bil poa wants to play hardball. File a ada505 reasonable accomodations lawsuit on him. And if you were employee and he didnt pay soc sec taxes he required he paid you more than 650.00a year he has to take out ttaxes and haveliability workman comp.Or have independent contractor form filed with irs. If the 165.00 was moneysorry family stink.
Get attorney.
Sounds like bil poa considering you employee who didnt show up to work. Rather than family member fathers home daughter living in.
Asertain what your status was.
He threatend to use your money to fight you. That is a threat. You probly are screwed one way or another. He is probably going to excommunicate you from father with evidence presented. So, do what you will. But he should have paid your soc sec. And as fudicial he is liable for that and im pretty sure he claimed the money when did taxes as paid out weither was petty cash household expenses or pay check for you.
I would consult an attorney. Bil took the lid off the can of worms and turned them innto maggots. I wouldnt feel bad and this is coming from someone who didnt want to cause riff in family I lioved when my sister was trying to make my mother incompetant. As far as memory. Knew she was trying to get to money.Never dreamed she had balls enough to take my 450,000 open certificate of deposit post matured 9 yrs..I had to sign to bring it from formulary to show her mom wasnt crazy did have certif. But it was mine not moms. Sister had made her close safedeposit boxes. I mad mom reopen hers .I and mom had collected silver dollars currency liberty and kennedy saved change. Said wanted to look at it . I had taken to pawn friend to appraise liberty. So they only got the 38 kennedy. I still remember who gave them to me newspaper customers.
It was sentimental value reall but they were appraised by bank as 23.00 to 38.00 ea. They cashed them in. That is how they looked at tnem. Said it was just currency nothing special. They turned them int their bank for face value. Not being malicious but stand your ground. A consult with a letter would be about 500. Ada claim reasonable accomodations of his and your safety and throwing you out firing you. Allow you to sue brother in law and the skies the limit.You may have to list father but brother in law inherits liability as your boss it seems and personally liable as well as any other benifactors under ada 505 reasonable accomodations monetary damages. Evidently you . Are disabledb but extent and durability of disability is yet to be determined. Find a phone or get on internet get a lawer now.
Make a chronological summary of your involvement as fathers care giver. Like suggested. Ada lawyers are advocates as will as constutional issuses if denying your father access to your companionship as a daughter.
Get a layer dont worry about hurting your brothers feelings.
Can you talk to your father. If so do so.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Kvivara08: That was supposed to say "you were used and abused." Don't stand for it. Time to tell the lawyer!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

kvi
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

State Labor boards have the final say on whether or not you were an employee. Too many people have hired home care, paid them off the books and ended up paying unemployment or other lost wages. In addition they have been sued for injuries and their homeowner's insurance may or may not pay the damages.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You have to be an employee to be eligible for worker's comp. If she didn't pay income tax and neither did her Dad or brothers she's not an employee.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Primary live-in caregiver is injured and another caregiver must step in. Throw out the injured person? Give lump sum pay off to go away without recourse? I don't think so! No matter the source of the injury, it sounds like you should have disability from the government to replace that whopping $160 a month you were paid.

Sounds like they don't expect you to contest this. What does your Dad think of all this?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

To Grandma1954 you make a good point. Be sure and have any beneficiaries sign off on your desire to be paid as a caregiver. If they are not willing to pay you as caregiver, then do the job for no money or tell them to hire someone else. Better to find out right from the start what everyone is willing to agree to.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Retain an attorney. You'll need one.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

That's just ridiculous. First, your dad is alive so he doesn't have an estate. Your BIL has financial POA so he should have been paying all your dad's bills and seeing to his care (at least financially) using your father's assets. Money didn't need to go to you unless an agreement for reimbursement for care was arranged. That's generally not done because 1. It's family! 2. You're living rent free and using the things that he uses. So, that's like your payment. Your BIL cannot legally kick you out. He can evict you with proper notice. I know because my second cousin was recently kicked out by her boyfriend, and he had to let her live there for a month. As everyone has said, get thee to a lawyer. Best of luck.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

First thing, find a place to live after you are out of rehab. Buy some groceries, and set up telephone, electricity, etc. Life essentials. That will probably take the bulk of your $5000. Then, go to your Social Security and Medicaid offices, county welfare, etc. and see what help you can get. It's not fair, but you've been screwed over by a bunch of narcissists. As someone else said, they'll soon learn the real market value of the care you've provided...and that will make them even more stingy with any funds that might be earmarked for you. Say a prayer for your Dad, who is the loser in this, and sing a little song of freedom for yourself. You have a chance to make a new life now, away from these people who have taken you for granted.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

State laws on POAs and living trusts may differ, but when I looked into it some years ago in California, the only people entitled to look at the living trust were those mentioned in it. Obviously the POA can simply tell you that you aren't mentioned (whether you are or not.) If he stalls, you have no recourse but legal advice. It gets complicated and it gets expensive. I write this partly to let others know while their parents are still competent. Unfortunately step-children have been known to exclude their step-siblings by changing the living trust at the point where the parent will still sign but is in fact incompetent or close to it. Years later when the death occurs, that action is very hard to challenge. It's all very sad.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You need to review this with an attorney experienced in Trust. It depends on who made the Trust and under what circumstances. Could be the POA prepared the Trust.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Kvivara, the only reason I'm setting this down is that I remember what a relief it was to me when I related something hurtful a sibling had done and, before giving me practical advice, my Texan friend said "Gaad! What a cow!" I don't know, I suppose I just felt better to have it acknowledged that I'd been unkindly treated.

So although I agree with the very level-headed and pragmatic advice above, that will really help you focus on protecting yourself and your quality of life going forward, I just want to add: your stepbrother? - What an a******!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Don't talk to them without an attorney present. Whatever the law says, if there were laws against what they did, they did it anyway. My experience trying to get attorneys is that it is best to speak with a paralegal or the attorney him/herself when you call them. If you speak with a secretary, often they are not well-versed in whatever the topic is and all they do is input what you say into some data entry form. Speak directly to the attorney and remember you only have a half hour if that. I find it best to work from notes. I also found that they got turned off if I didn't speak in an organized manner, spoke too quickly, got too emotional, added too many extraneous details or added too much "opinion" that wasn't fact, or added speculation that couldn't be proven nor was based on solid evidence. Also, tell them everything in the order that it occurred. I know when you are on the phone it's hard because they pressure you, some can be rather abrasive, too.

Another thing. I have called bar associations and have had a bad experience with them. Try your best to get an entire list to work from That's not what the bar associations will give you. Calling them will lead to a lengthy wait, and only one name at a time. I personally found that so exhausting! Invariably the names they gave me led to dead ends and so much hanging on the phone that I wondered if the "system" was designed to get people to give up! Try to get a long list of attorneys from some other source. Actually, this site has listings right on here by state and topic.

Another thing (this probably varies by state as well) but I found that the state legal assistance agencies are weak or nonexistent or just do not help anyone. Or actually, they exist to stall, stall, stall and hope that the people who have been screwed (like us) give up and stop being pests. I am not the only one who had this experience. I usually tell people to go to private attorneys and hope that one will take you on. Yes, it is really like a needle in a haystack.

Try your state rep, too. Their offices sometimes have resources.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Actually, the brother (the father even) can't just toss out her belongings and change the locks. They have to legally evict the caregiver. She does have basis for damages if she has money for a lawyer to pursue the matter. We don't know the whole story but. the home, TV, utilities, use of the car, etc all have value and can't be discounted just because they were there when the writer moved in.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Caringson12...There may be problems with being a paid caregiver if you are POA. I have had people tell me that if you are POA you can not be paid to be the caregiver. It might be that you could be paid as a caregiver and be POA for Health care but not if you are POA for Financial.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I think you should talk to a lawyer.
Not just about what might or might not be in a Living Trust but the fact that you were a "paid caregiver" but apparently taxes were not taken out...does not sound like unemployment was taken out...does not sound like Social Security was take out...and you fell while on the job. Technically you could probably sue for medical expenses, loss of wages as well as any permanent damage. Just like you would sue the driver of the car that hit you.
If your brother wants to "play hard ball" join the game with a hard hitting team.
I never like the idea of a law suit but I think in this case just talking to a lawyer and getting some information would be helpful as to what your rights are.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

First off, investigate what your needs are and use less energy being upset with family members. Have your assets reviewed so you can get Medicaid. Did you pay into SS? Call the SS office and start the process of applying for monthly benefits. Keep a clear mind when you talk with any of these offices, take notes and names.You do not mention Dad's condition...physical and mental...??? In the meantime if you have any tangible proof of assistance to your Dad...bill paying, copies of checks with your signature, validation from neighbors (that would be good for references)....collect the information and keep it. Your concern with the "family" members ....will they attempt to get Dad to sign something? Take care of yourself.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

NEVER take on the role of being a care taker for a parent unless you are made POA. The job is hard enough with out having to deal with ungrateful siblings who are in control. Your story is not that unusual. You now have the choice of getting a lawyer (could be expensive) or walking away. I learned this lesson too and I am very sorry for your situation.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

An aside - such lopside "accounting". They conveniently forgot to offset the benefits to the caregiver with the benefits to the father - 24/7 care, housekeeping and cooking, yard work, running errands and probably transportation to doctor's appointments. The dollar value of your work will be very apparent as they hire people to do these tasks, including weekends and holidays. Pam makes a great point - these days, the parent's care often eats up any inheritance. Take care of yourself.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Let's think this over. Dad is still alive, so you have not inherited anything yet. You will not be able to care for him anymore. You probably won't be able to drive the car. You will be eligible for Medicare SSDI payments. You will get Medicaid as well BUT if you have assets, like the $5K, you will have to spend it down before Medicaid kicks in. Your caseworker will help you find appropriate housing after rehab.
Don't go after money that the government will take anyway. Maximize the benefits you can get by not having assets.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.