Follow
Share

We've always made it clear to the asst. living facility that our mom, who has dementia, is not allowed to go out on her own. Recently, she wandered out and was lost for about 6 hours. We don't allow her to have cash or cards. Despite that, she somehow made it to her former home 12 miles away in the middle of the night. Home cameras show her arriving by car in what appears to be a taxi or Uber as she was sitting in the backseat. She was then dropped off and the driver left. She rang our former neighbor's bell and they alerted us. The Ombudsman of the area of her asst living is investigating. Do we have a case for a lawsuit against the assisted living facility? Will it adversely affect my mom? We have no other place for her to be cared for.

Find Care & Housing
Assisted living is not a locked care unit.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to brandee
Report

My Moms AL excepted her with Dementia. She was easy to care for and could be redirected. The facility did have a keypad to get in and out the front door but the fire doors were not locked. If you pushed on the bar for more than 15 seconds, the door opened. This is how my Mom got out. I was told if it kept happening, Mom could not stay there. Yes, an alarm went off but I was told if the aides were busy with other residents, they would not be checking on the alarm.

Yes, its time for MC for Mom.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Thank you all for your answers and help with this! Sorry if the question seemed silly but this journey is new for me. I really do appreciate you setting me straight. Thanks again
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to ForMom1
Report
MG8522 Sep 10, 2025
I have seen several people who were doing well in assisted living just gradually decline to the point of needing memory care. The family might not realize it if they are not living nearby or able to visit often, so sometimes an incident like this serves as the wake-up episode.
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
Does your Mother have an actual medical diagnosis of cognitive or memory impairment?

Is anyone her PoA?

If she doesn't have a diagnosis and doesn't have a PoA or legal guardian, then the facility may still see her as sovereign enough to come and go as she pleases -- and you (if you are NOT her legal representative to a diagnosed as impaired person) can say all you want to the facility but why should they listen to you? Just because you're a daughter? That's not how the law works.

We are not lawyers so cannot really "practice law" on this global open forum of anonymous and unaccountable strangers. You will need to pay money to consult with an actual attorney who practices in your Mom's home state.

More information as to whether your Mom is diagnosed and whether she has a legal representative would be helpful to give you other sorts of important guidance.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Assisted Living is just that, 'Assisted'. It's for people who need some assistance with the activites of daily life. It is not for people who are invalid and need round-the-clock care. It is not for people with advanced dementia who needs 24/7 supervision. I was a supervisor at a very high-end assisted living facility and the level of care is very different than what a person gets in a nursing home or memory care facility. There were no baby-sitters. If a resident was getting to a point with dementia that they started wandering and had to be watched 24/7, they had to leave our facility.

Your mother belongs in a locked-down memory care facility that she cannot wander away from. It is not the AL's fault she took off. It's the fault of whoever put her in an assisted living facility. That person, family member, or legal representative is responsible for making sure she's in the level of care she needs. Many times in the AL families literally had to be told that we would be calling APS to have their LO removed and put into memory care or a nursing home when they needed a higher level of care than we provided. We had to call APS a few times to do it.

Whatever you "made clear" to the assisted living concerning your mother, or whatever demands you made really don't amount to anything. The AL would have given you or your mother paperwork explaining exactly what services they provide. If they do not provide 24/7 supervision and locked floors for residents with advanced dementia, then you are out of luck as far as a lawsuit goes.

You're lucky your mother wasn't hurt. So take the win on that and move her into a locked memory care facility she cannot wander away from.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to BurntCaregiver
Report

Your mother needs a locked memory care ward. She is very clearly way beyond what assisted living exists for.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Bulldog54321
Report
BurntCaregiver Sep 10, 2025
Thank-you!
(0)
Report
First, I am glad your mother is safe. So many times the outcome is not a positive one and results in death.

You posted "We've always made it clear to the asst. living facility that our mom, who has dementia, is not allowed to go out on her own" but what was their response?

To my knowledge Assisted Living personal can not forcibly prevent a resident from leaving nor do they or can they watch that person exclusively 24/7. Your contract should outline their responsibilities.

You will need to speak with an attorney to properly determine if you have grounds for a lawsuits.

Sadly, with dementia, this commonly occurs and your mother should now be placed in a higher level of care.

I also would not be surprised if the Assisted Living facility will access your mother to need a higher level of care and give 30 days notice to find placement. I would advise you to look for Memory Care and Nursing Home accomodations immediately. Speak with an eldercare attorney to discuss Medicaid rules and what the POA or Guardian will need to accomplish for the eventual move to Long Term Care your mother will need.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AMZebbC
Report

Your Mom needs a locked memory care .
Sue for what ?? She was not injured . She even made it back home like she intended.
The assisted living facility can refuse to keep Mom there due to her wandering and tell you she needs memory care . Most have a 30 day notice and they can make you move Mom out , even if that means you have to take her home with you .
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to waytomisery
Report

Assisted Living can try to discourage residents from leaving but staff are not allowed to physically restrain them. It would probably be hard for you to find a lawyer to take your case and if one did, the defense would be that it was your responsibility to place your mother in a secure memory care unit, knowing that she is at risk of wandering. You'll need to find one now, for her safety. The AL may tell you that they can't be responsible for her at her current level of need, and give you thirty days to find a new place. It's very common for dementia patients to know their old home addresses and determinedly seek out ways to get there. I'm sorry for this challenge, but unfortunately it's the reality of dementia.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to MG8522
Report

You must want her to be on your doorstep and then living in your house. Try to remember that the elderly, even thru illness, can be sneaky and manipulative. Seems like she's got enough memory left to have told a car driver what her address was ...so doubt any lawyer would take your case.

+100 to all the others responses also.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to ML4444
Report

The AL should have told you upfront that mom belongs in Memory Care where the doors are locked 24/7. And that they could not possibly keep her from leaving the premises, that is not their job. Of course there are other options for mom! If a Memory Care Assisted Living facility does not exist in your town, it exists in other towns or cities nearby.

Call an attorney for guidance but don't expect a "case" to be filed since nothing bad happened, and you knowingly signed a contract for mom with dementia to be in a facility where the outside doors are unlocked, which is an inappropriate living environment for her.

I'm sorry this happened. I suggest you make arrangements to mive mom now.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report
BurntCaregiver Sep 10, 2025
@lealonnie

When the mother moved into the AL it may have been just right for her. The facility would have informed the family if there was any questionable behavior going on and would have called them in for a meeting to discuss some different care options.
(1)
Report
She needs to be in memory care, in lockdown for her own protection. In AL they have the right to come and go.

As for the lawsuit idea, it will have no merit and she will be required to move out and go somewhere else.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to MeDolly
Report

Lawsuits are only taken by attorneys when there is a good case of personal injury. There was no injury here. And clearly this is a message to ALL in your family that the option of ALF is now off the options-board. You will require now a locked facility. Start looking into memory care.

It is quite common for those with no knowledge of suits to think that they happen easily. One hears "Sue them" over and over. A case brought in court is for monetary compensation for a wrong act, and is dependent on the level of PERSONAL INJURY the person had due to the supposedly negligent act involved.
Again, no severe injury requiring ongoing care? No suit! Just that simple.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter