My Mom has severe dementia, I am an only child. Can I step in and get her Hospice?

The Medical Management was actually at the hospital where Mother is at currently. I can't thank everyone enough just for being here. The support is great. Mother's Hospitalist is also putting her case before the ethics committee to have Pops declared unfit and me placed as the person in charge of her care.

I agree with Ashlynn. My father has severe dementia and became super paranoid. He was a Sheriff's Deputy and avid outdoorsman so he had several guns. He threatened to shoot my mother when she told him he had to change his clothes. Whether or not he would, it was a threat to take seriously enough to remove all weapons from the house. Why wait until something bad happens? You could always seek to gain guardianship of your mother and step father in order to make decisions on their behalf.

Midori, I think the person who told you that your father has rights of decision make notwithstanding his dementia is flat out wrong. If your father isn't understanding the situation, and is thinking of taking your mother to CO to get pot or something more serious, that to me is one indication of his lack of ability to make a cogent decision.

I'm glad you're seeing an attorney; hopefully it's an elder attorney as they're more familiar with the issues you're facing.

I'm glad the hospital has contacted APS. Is this where the Medical Management person told you your father has decision making rights over your mother's care?

Good luck.

The thought of someone with dementia, even mild or moderate, having guns and threatening to shoot someone just freaks me out! Windy is right. You have to get her away from him before there is some tragedy. I hate to say it but it's not unusual for these scenarios to turn into murder/suicide. Sorry if I'm scaring you but you must get those guns away from him immediately. Please go to the police, explain the situation and make a statement of his threat to shoot you. I fear for you all.

I believe guardianship and such other actions take a long time to go through the courts and in this case it doesn't sound like your mother has much time left so it's a moot point. The guns must be removed immediately! The fact that you and your mother are in danger should get the local cops on the doorstep asap.

And if he threatens the cops he'll be arrested and taken out of the picture.

I've made an appointment to consult with an attorney. The hospital has contacted APS, maybe this time the result will be the one that is best for Mother. Pops mentioned taking her to CO for Marijuana treatment and asked where to get heroin....so yeah. Fingers crossed. Living wills, MPOA's get them. I made mine out.

She may be but it may be worth getting some legal advice. It sounds like she is suffering and time for hospice. You might also try to get someone from hospice to speak to SF and explain its not murder, she will get good care, she will be made comfortable. Many times people improve under hospice care for awhile.

YeGods Midori, shoot you??? You need to get the police involved and get his guns taken away asap!

You can file for emergency guardianship over your mother. It should be heard quickly as she is in danger. I'd Google info for guardianship in your area to limit legal costs. I did many of these as a nursing home s.w., although in NH. It sounds like you might be able to get guardianship of your father too since if he is declared incompetent by a psychiatrist and medical doctor, he loses decision making power for himself and your mother.
Again, I'm not in Texas, but would also suggest looking into an Ombudsman. I'm sure any area nursing home social worker could tell you what is available in your area. I realize this sounds dramatic, but if necessary call an ambulance and have her taken to an ER. The open areas would qualify her likely for admission and then the hospital social work staff would step in.
In short, be as proactive as possible.