I lived with my fiance since 2016. Last July he was diagnosed with cancer and I have been caring for him ever since. Recently I had to leave because he became verbally abusive. When he created his will he left everything to me and his one son. I was power of attorney and durable POA. I need to know if I am entitled to compensation for all I've done? Especially the last year. I use my own money for everything for me. I've stayed at hope Lodge for months to be at his side. Cared for him at home in the hospital. Taking him to the chemo treatments and transfusions. Cooking cleaning 24 hours a day. Helping him bath. Taking care of his PICC line. And much more. What do I do? I am the only one doing anything for him.

Do you know where the will is? You or someone will have to file it in probate to get the process started. If it is as you swy, the will will spell out everything
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MACinCT

Really, need more info.

You say "was" his POA. Did fiance revolk it when you left and assign someone else? If the answer is no, ur still the POA.

To get compensated it has to be written in the POA or a contract with your fiance.

Are u still caring for him? Then you need to asked to be reimbursed for any out of pocket. Keep receipts. Otherwise, ask for money before you buy anything.

The Motel was your choice. Things happen, relationships fail. When he became abusive, you should have put ur foot down. Explaining you are caring for him and u need to be respected.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29

In a marriage, if there is a divorce, the POA is ended because of a conflict of interest. You were not yet married, but if you have left, there is a definite legal conflict of interest.

Be sure his one son knows he needs to have help for his father.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Sendhelp

Can you see your fiancé's estate, or can you *sue* the estate - is that a typo?

I'm sorry that you and he are going through this. When you say he became verbally abusive and you had to leave, when exactly did this blow up on you? Weeks, days - ?

Is he on hospice, or hoping to recover from his cancer?

Were you getting no support from any services at all?

I can't judge from your post whether that's definitely the end of the line for you, you want to be reimbursed and then you're gone; or whether if it were possible to solve the issues you would want to stay.

So much depends on what has happened and what is going on in your fiancé´s head. For example, it occurs to me that chemo treatments, brain tumours, and many other factors that would explain his abusiveness, if these are the cause you might feel very differently about the situation. You still shouldn't go back! - definitely not without proper support; but you might not want to leave altogether.

And I think you are worried about him because you say you are the only one doing anything for him. That isn't just about feeling that you should be compensated for your work and support, is it; it's about concern over what happens next?

You must be very upset and stressed out, but once you've got your breath back the important thing is to concentrate on where to go from here.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Countrymouse

You can ask him. Do you think that he will change his will now that you have left?

I am not trying to be rude, but everything you did was your choice, freely given to the man you intended to marry. You are now walking away and taking back everything you've done. He is ill, no excuse for verbally abusing anyone, but maybe a talk with his doctor about prescribing something to help him not be so angry.

I am concerned because you say you were the only one helping and you've walked away. Does he have any help or is he now alone and very ill and at risk? Doing this could get you into trouble if you don't let someone know you are gone or get him to a hospital or something.

I personally don't think you have any rights because you used to be POA which means you are not now and that means his business is not any of yours.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal

Most likely No, you will need to ask him to pay you. If he has included you in his will or are a beneficiary on one of his assets, you will get your money after he dies.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to DollyMe
Isthisrealyreal Jul 27, 2019
Unless he writes her out of the will. Which I suspect is the case.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter