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I am POA and executor for my father. My deceased sister had 2 children who are 1/2 beneficiaries of his estate. Since my mother has passed last summer, I am at his house (I live 25 miles away) 4 times a week. He has ALZ. My two nephews live 1000 miles away and do not call him or me. I bring him food, buy his clothes, etc. I have had to quit my job to be more available for him. I do not want to be compensated for my time, but the gas, food, clothes and other miscellaneous is putting a strain on my budget. I pay all his bills. Can I reimburse myself for the groceries, gas, etc. that I pay? I keep records on my expenses but I don't want hard feelings. When I ask Dad for a little help, he says he will get around to it,, but obviously he doesn't. I don't want to sound petty, but I could use a little payback on this. I don't want my nephews to think I am stealing from Dad - I just want to be reimbursed. Considering they never contact us, will it even be an issue down the line?

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Jiggs, sometimes I think it is better to place a parent in a continuing care facility while they are still able to make friends with the other residents and the staff, and be able to learn their way around the complex.

If your Dad thinks people are coming in when he's not home that means his Alzheimer's is advancing on schedule, it's only going to get worse, and eventually you will find yourself being his full-time caregiver 168 hours a week. You would be burnt out in no time, and with that stress comes your own serious illnesses.
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Jiggs, ease him into a caregiver. Start once a week with a laundry girl or a housekeeper, while you are there. Once he is comfortable, back off a day. Then add another day, etc until you only have to visit weekly.
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Ok, thanks. I don't care about any inheritance, I just want to keep him in his home as long as possible. He already thinks people are coming in when he's not home so I don't want to get a caregiver in and put them in an awkward position so I'll just keep going as is. Returning to my job is no longer an option - they have filled my position. Thanks for the info though.
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Jiggs, if your Dad can afford to pay you for his care, then he could afford to pay an outside agency who sends in a Caregiver.... that way you could return to your job so that you can plan for your own retirement. Otherwise, would you be able to survive with no income for the next 5 to 10 years? Or maybe 15 years [my boss' wife had Alzheimer's for that length of time].

And what if your Dad needs to go on Medicaid? Medicaid would put a lien on the house, thus that part of the estate would be gone.
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No, as POA you can only carry out his wishes. As Executor you can only carry out his Will. Any POA that writes checks to himself usually ends up talking to an unhappy Judge. You would need a caregiving contract, written with the help of an attorney, signed by Dad and notarized.
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