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I know she can't give gifts if in the future she goes in a nursing home. But, can she use it to pay for respite care at a nursing home? She will be using her own money now for respite care. Will it affect her going to a NH in the future?

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Medicare will pay for respite time so that home caregiver gets a break. I think it may be two weeks per year, but check that. It does not effect future benefits. Medicare does not pay for long term care. It will pay for rehab following a qualifying hospital stay.
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She would be using her own money for now. Will it affect her getting in a nursing home in the future if she uses her money for that now?
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It shouldn't but why would you pay for something when it would be covered by insurance. As long as her money is used for her needs only, there shouldn't be a problem.
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Spending her money on her needs really shouldn't pose any problem, and respite care is a perfectly legitimate expense. It may be you who needs the down time, but it's she who needs the care - just as she would if you didn't exist at all, or just as she would if she had hired caregivers at home and they took their vacation entitlement.

If you are thinking about her possibly needing to apply for Medicare in future, and the "look back" at where her funds have gone to, I suppose you could always call and ask them just to make double-sure. Does anybody know if there are published guidelines about what does and does not qualify as a legitimate expense for this purpose?
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Glad, Per Medicare.gov website
Respite care under Medicare is short term (usually 5 days or less) and offered under the hospice benefit. So the parent would need to be in hospice care for the respite benefit to apply. Respite would have to be coordinated through hospice provider. The original poster's parent might qualify for hospice, might not. Medicare pays for 95% of the cost; patient/family would have to pay for the rest. Some facilities will waive the copay; some won't. Medicare is not set up to simply provide respite care - you have to go through their certified hospice providers and arrange it. Otherwise, it's not covered by insurance.

Per Medicaid, it's fine to use the patient's money to pay for a respite stay during the lookback, but you'd need to find a place that had available short term beds and was set up for respite. You cannot pay for a hotel or travel for the caregiver from the patient's funds as part of the respite. You cannot pay for meals, etc. for anyone other than the patient during respite.
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Lindyann; I think you are assuming that Medicaid (what might pay for mom's long term care in the future if she is impoverished) (not Medicare) would consider respite a "gift" to you in the future, rather than a necessity.

It is considered a necessity; that's why it's paid for by Medicare (elder health insurance)
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Thank you all for your answers. She would be using her own money to pay for respite care as long as it holds out.
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To be honest, most respite care has a minimum of 2 weeks and the moving back and forth may have an impact on her mental. I guess a little more detail would allow for more helpful answers. Is she bedridden, does her health merit 24-hour care, can her own money afford 24-hour care in her own home, does she live with you, etc.
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