Can I place my mom in a group family home if she doesn't want to go?

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I have medical power of attorney but not a durable POA. I have access to her finances since I'm on her account. She isn't capable of staying alone and has severe memory problems. My husband and I aren't capable of taking care of her any longer. Can she be placed in a long term care facility if she doesn't want to go?

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Sissy,
I had exactly the same situation with my mom. She thought she was fine to take care of herself living alone but, at 92 in stage 5 Alzheimer's, she was no longer capable to make the right decisions. She quit bathing. I had to trick her into the facility by saying she had a doctors visit. She had told me, "You'll never put me in one of those places." The anguish I suffered was horrible. The first couple of months were h*ll but she settled in. I could finally sleep through the night instead of worrying if she was doing something dangerous. I had DPOA along with 2 letters from doctors stating her inability to live alone or unmonitored. I never got guardianship but never needed it.

Mamasays,
There is a lot of talk about dementia patients' rights and I agree, they do have rights. They have a right to live securely, and have all their needs met in a nurturing environment. If that means a facility (because the family can't care for her), then that is what you have to do. I would take her there. Tell her to try it for a month. There really is no other choice we have. I don't know if there could be any retribution against you but others might. Thankfully it was never a problem in our situation.
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Hi
I had to move mom 18 months ago. She still asks when she can go back home 🙄 She too thinks she can take care of herself...but she can't tell you what day it is, what she had for breakfast and so on
I lied to her when we moved her. Believe me it was worse for me than her. She is safe now, she's clean and fed everyday...and best of all she is never alone, which is comforting for me.
Get mom placed ASAP
For yourself and your mom
Sissy
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For AFTER she's moved? How about starting it now, so that you know what effect it has on her? Has she been on Ativan before? For some reason, it makes some folks more anxious.
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We're in NC and while I haven't spoken to the local Agency on Aging, I've been told that since she isn't able to live alone, I have a medical POA, and the FL2 signed, there isn't an issue with placing her there. Guess I need to call tomorrow and make sure my ducks are in a row. Mom takes 25mg of Sertraline and I don't think it's enough and Namzaric. The dr has prescribed Ativan for anxiety after she is moved and I'm sure she'll need it. I could use it about now.
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Is mom on any meds for agitation and anxiety?

Mom mother is one of those folks who could worry about ANYTHING. She awfulized every situation.

Antidepressants and antianxiety meds have made her calmer, NOT doped up. You might want to see if these will help
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I have both medical POA and DPOA of my father, but the long-term care facility and the VA Assisted living facility both said that if I bring my father there and he says he doesn't want to stay, I would have to take him home. They said I need to go to court for guardianship, even though two physicians have found him to be incapacitated. I don't know how to get guardianship, but am told it requires attorneys and court and I guess I am not quite ready to do that to him. He lives alone and has for 3 years since my mom died. He is lonely and very social and I think he would be happier at an assisted living facility, but he says there is no way he is leaving his home. He falls often and has dementia, but the county social worker at adult protection says he is safe to stay alone It seems ridiculous to me and I don't think he is safe, but there is nothing I can do without getting guardianship. I am from Wisconsin btw.
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My mom is not social. She has never had a close female friend in my memory and will tell you that. She has no assets like a car or a house. I'm not quite sure how to convince her that this is a good thing. She was living alone up until six weeks ago and is convinced she still can. She has started to take medication but has no memory of taking it. I have her meds and give them to her when needed. She will feed her little dog 5-6 times within a few hours since she doesn't remember feeding her. She doesn't remember eating meals. There is no way she can live by herself safely. We have found a small, private facility with five other women. It's perfect. I'd love to go there! We went today and she hated it! I'm not sure how to get her there without a big scene and lots of tears and words.
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Surprised u don't have financial POA. Yes, I was on my Moms account but I could not sell her house or car without the financial. Also, talking to life insurance companies about policies and share, I need financial.
No parent wants to go to a nursing facility. I had no problem with my Mom. She was told she was going to a new place to live where she would be able to share a room and have lots of people to care for her. Also meet new people.
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Some assisted and NH facilities will require a statement from an MD
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I would consult the lawyer who prepared the Medical poa. Because you have that, in many situations, you have the ability to determine what level of care she needs.

You certainly can determine that you no longer can care for her. Have you talked with you local Area Agency on Aging to determine what her needs Are? Have they and her doctor had this discussion with her?
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