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Mom is 85 y/o and currently in a memory care facility. The facility did well keeping the residents virus free until the week of Christmas when most residents - including Mom - and half the staff tested positive for Covid. My mother has become weaker and weaker. They are doing everything possible at the facility to keep her out of the hospital, but they are short staffed due to the illness and are trying to take care of 20+ patients with the virus. I know a woman who has worked as a private aide, had Covid herself back in May, and is willing to go in for a few hours a day to give Mom some extra care. The facility says they won't let her in. Should I take it up with their corporate office or the ombudsman?

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At the onset of this mess, my mother's doctor called me (as POA) to see how I wanted to handle the situation if my mother contracted COVID while in Memory Care. I told her I wanted hospice services if that time came; no hospitalization or extreme measures taken to prolong her life.

I think your mother's MC has a responsibility to either allow a caregiver of your choice inside their facility to help your mother, or to allow hospice in there to help her, or, to allow you to have her placed in a hospice facility to provide comfort care to her if this is the end of her journey on Earth. Call and speak with the Exec Director at a minimum, and then go over his head if need be.

I am so sorry you and your mom are going through this. Sending you a hug and a prayer for a peaceful resolution.
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I’ve lived this too. Did you ask them why they were refusing to have the private aide enter the facility?

My gut feeling is that if the “did well”, they will not want someone who is not “theirs employee staff” entering.

I totally understand why you want to do this, but in my LO’S MC, there was a very specific set of protocols in place, and no matter how “safe” the aide appears, I can understand your facilities’ perspective too.

Making decisions in this situation is brutal. Before you contact corporate or an ombudsman, please see if you can get a better fix on what their reasoning is about this, and see if you can communicate your concerns without coming across as too angry.

I’m so angry myself that I feel as though I’ve been crying I side for the past 8 months. If I could, I would offer you my shoulder to cry on, as long as I could then cry on yours.

I’m sure you know that when they’ve been through this, they DO get weaker. Mine lost 16 pounds, and she’s tiny. If you think they’re “doing all they can” maybe see if they have any suggestions for some sort of compromise?

Fondest Hope that things will continue to move forward in the best way for your mom.
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They may not let her in; have you checked if there is any circumstance under which they WOULD (ie if she were vaccinated). They may have rules against caregivers in their facility not covered by their policies, insurance, and etc. Ask them if there are any agencies they WILL or DO work with? Often hospice can get in, I know. Not suggesting you get hospice as that would suggest you understand death may be eminent, and at times then drugs would be administered for respiratory distress that may possibly depress respirations, or make patient more sleepy. Not a good thing with Covid often, as you want them awake, exercising lungs and etc.
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lablover64 Jan 4, 2021
That's a thought. I hadn't considered hospice. Not even sure they would let them in. I wonder if I could have her transferred to a hospice facility?
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