She’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and he is a horrible caregiver. They’ve been married for 35 years and they’ve never gotten along. She is obviously upset and confused a lot of the times now. And he will not accept any help or advice or change any of his ways in order to help her. He does nothing wrong according to him and it’s all her. She is fine when she’s with me because I know how to remain calm and not panic and scream back at her.
Laws vary according to state and according to level of competence. In the case of an incompetent person a guardian ad litem is appointed to represent the person who is incompetent. You may be able much more easily to get guardianship for her and a legal separation of assets but all of this will come with a cost.
So seek the advice of a divorce attorney. And do be certain that when questioned your mother will say she wishes to be away from her husband and have your guardianship.
Remember, you have your view of this marriage, but the facts are that your mother has CHOSEN to stay with your stepfather for some time, now, through sickness and health. You may want to rethink this.
So only your moms lawyer would be able to determine if she is mentally capable of signing divorce papers, and if in fact that is what she really wants to do.