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Mom is 99 years old. Broke her hip and too old to do surgery per the Dr. Alzheimer’s and anxious. We would like to care for her in our home. Can we pay ourselves the same amount we were paying at the memory unit?

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The part concerning payment, unless you are POA and a provision has been made for payment then in my opinion, no you cannot be paid. And if you were, you may have to deduct for income taxes and SS which involves your contribution and Mom's, ur employer, contribution. (not sure about if family does the caring) Mom now has Dementia and cannot sign agreements either for payment towards care or rent. Even with Dementia her money is hers and if she ever needs Medicaid, there will be an accounting. Not sure if a lawyer can do anything.

If this were me, would not want the extra headache.
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worriedinCali Aug 9, 2020
The OP would be a family caregiver not a household employee And the IRS has special rules for family caregivers, OP wouldn’t need to pay SS ;)

The POA form doesn’t necessarily have to have a provision saying the OP can be paid. The FL POA LAW may allow for the OP be compensated.
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As my daughter says "if they are a fall risk, they will fall". Even if in a wheelchair the State will not allow restraints. It only takes a second for a resident to stand up and try to walk. An aide cannot watch someone 24/7 and I don't think you can either. Your MIL has a Dementia. There is no reasoning with her. She will do whatever flitters through her mind at that moment. In her mind she does not know her limitations. Even if you explain them, her short term doesn't allow her to maintain the info.

If MIL is 91 than you are in your 60s. I am friendly with 2 sisters both CNAs. Both retired at 60 because they could no longer do what was needed to bath, dress, toilet, help transfer and roll over a resident. The one sister has screwed up her back. It seems to me that what you will need to do for MIL will be very physical. Can ur bodies take that, 24/7. With a broken hip it will be so very hard. I would think she is now wheelchair bound and not able to put any weight on that hip. I would just ask that all precautions the state allows be used. Alarm on the wheelchair. Her bed as close to the floor as possible with mats on both sides. I was told that one side of the bed can be put up the other left down. Mom was given a great geri chair. The bottom slanted back a little making it hard to get out. Had cushions on each side of her head if she fell asleep and it reclined. More comfortable than a wheelchair.
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Don't move her because of falls; falls will happen anywhere. And maybe even more so in your unfamiliar home. A decline will happen if you do move her.

Yes, with a caregiver agreement, you can pay yourself, yes, even $4,000.00 a month or more. Whatever is customary for home care in your area would be acceptable. But, mom then becomes an employer and taxes, etc will have to be withheld from the pay.

Who would negotiate the agreement? Mom, with dementia, cannot negotiate it. Is there a POA in place that would be able to negotiate in mom's best interest? Does mom have an elder law attorney that would help MOM with that?
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Yes you can pay yourself any amount that she agrees to. You will need a caregiver contract drawn up by a lawyer and her or her DPOA will have to sign it. 1k a week is not over charging for 24/7 care. That is the best price I have ever heard of for MC.

Be sure that you write the contract to cover respite workers and vacation time for yourselves. Caregiving is difficult at best and you will need to be able to get away for time to yourself every week. So make sure you have days off included.

I think that you should really think about what this looks like before you bring her home. Are you sure that she didn't fall because she had a spontaneous break? It is very common for that to happen.

Bedridden patients are especially challenging, please make sure that you can provide the care she requires before you bring her home. Best of luck.
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If your mother-in-law is eligible for Medi-Cal. Meaning she is low income- In California they have something called in-home support services. Or I HSS. You can sign up as an IHSS provider and your mother-in-law as a recipient and you will get paid.
This is what I did for my mother. I hired a full-time live-in caregiver. And the state pays for it. Check out the website.
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worriedinCali Aug 8, 2020
The OP is in Florida so her mother is not eligible for medi-cal. IHSS is not an option here and if her MIL is paying $4k a month for memory care then her MIL does not qualify for Medicaid either so the OP cannot be MILs caregiver & get paid through a state/Medicaid program.
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Ditto to what WorriedinCali stated. Even if your mother is now bedridden with her broken hip, it is a lot of work and commitment to care for her: feeding, bathing, hygiene, medications, turning, lifting, special hospital bed, etc. You will need to find/hire someone to care for her when you wish to have a break. Her behaviors can (and probably will) become more intense and stressful to deal with. Not trying to "talk you out of it"...just want you to go into it with your eyes wide open. Please read a few of the thousands of posts on this forum under the category of Burn Out. I sincerely wish you success, no matter which path you choose for her.
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No you can’t pay yourself that amount. You can have a caregiver agreement drawn up & be paid a reasonable wage. Your MIL can also pay rent and contribute to the untitled and grocery bill. But the bigger issue here is, do you have any idea what you are getting in to here? She’s in memory care for a reason. Are you prepared to give up life as you know it? Your world will now center around her and her needs. Do you have a back up plan in case you become incapacitated? If you or your husband require care yourselves? What is your plan? Can you take care of 2 elders?
Memory care costs $4k a month because your MIL is taken care of by professionals who do this for a living and have certain skills and training.
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 8, 2020
Yes they can. It not even a thousand dollars a week for 24/7 care. Why would you think that they can not pay that?
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