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In June 2021 we admitted my Mom to nursing home. She had a major episode of lunging forward and backwards. Nothing we had ever experienced before. Before she was declining in mobility. Mostly had to use wheelchair before her episode.


Since then has been in nursing home and my husband and I decided we want her home. So we are making the sacrifice of me quitting my job and becoming Mom's caregiver.


I'm excited, anxious all sorts of things, bit I know this is the right thing to do.

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Is your mom on Medicaid or is she self pay? If she is on Medicaid you are going to have to consult with the State Medicaid caseworker to see if there is a program in your State in which you can get paid. If mom is not on Medicaid and has significant assets you need to have a certified elder attorney draw up a care agreement. Unless mom has a lot of money and you stand to inherit a significant amount, or you yourself can comfortably retire right now, you may be putting yourself at significant risk for your financial future. Also, I assure you, the task you are contemplating taking on will be exhausting, likely more so than you can imagine. Please think through everything carefully. Best Wishes!
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Reply to mstrbill
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Don't do it! Before too long it will become too much For you to be able to do. You need to prepare for your own retirement.

For you to be paid mom just be the one that pays you. That has to be setup in accordance with IRS regulations. See an elder law attorney and read the article at the link that Geaton provided.

It is an exercise to do this legally.
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Reply to gladimhere
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Reply to Geaton777
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Please think a little bit longer before taking your mother out of the nursing home she's in and moving her into your house and giving up your job to become her caregiver.
I don't know what you do for a living or if your job is related to the healthcare field. I'm an APCNA (advanced practice certified nurse's assistant) and have worked in homecare for almost 25 years. I've had a few elderly clients over the years who were losing mobility and also were lunging forward and backward. In each of their cases it was LBD (Lewy Body Dementia). The lunging forward and backward soon resulted in these clients becoming total invalids. No mobility, diaper-dependent incontinence, unable to feed themselves, and not even able to sit up on their own. All of them lived for several years in this condition.
Please think a little longer about taking your mom out of the nursing home.
As for getting paid to be her caregiver, this is possible if she's on Medicaid. Many states do allow a family caregiver to get paid. It's minimum wage and there's a cap on how much will be paid out even if you're providing 24 hour live-in care for a person. After that person passes away, Medicaid will expect repayment of what they paid out to the family caregiver or as much as they can recap from an estate. If your mother has property they will recover what they paid out to you for the caregiving when you probate her estate at some point.
The family caregiver program helps a lot of families. It isn't free though. They get their money back at some point if the person being cared for has assets. It's almost a certainty that your mother will end up back in the nursing home. If she's in a nice place, leave her there. If she has to be placed again you might not be able to get her into as good a place.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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