Can I get paid for taking care of my disabled Mother?


My mother has a colostomy bag that she can not change herself, so I change it for her whenever it may need to be changed or emptied. I also prepare all her meals, clean, bathe, and take her to her doctor appointments. I know that I am suppose to do that and I do not mind but it is a 24/7 job and I have needs and responsibilities to take care of. So I need to get a job. Therefore I was wondering if I could get paid to take care of her because I know that a lot of people will not take care of your parent like you will take care of your own parent. I hope I can get some answers here. Thank you in advance.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing


If mom doesn't qualify for Medicaid, as said before draw up a caregiver contract have it signed by all parties and she may pay you rather than an outside company to do her care. You are very sweet and caring for wanting to care for her...bless you, hope you find your answers!
Helpful Answer (0)

I hope this helps and answers some of your of luck!!!
Medicaid's 'Cash and Counseling' Allows Pay for Family Caregivers
Cash and Counseling, also referred to as Consumer Direction Care Programs, allow people, that are Medicaid eligible, to hire whomever they want to provide their care and decide for themselves if they would rather hire a home care agency, or pay a friend or relative to do it. The services paid for by the state are part of the elder's authorized Medicaid care plan. This means that relatives, adult children, in-laws, or grandchildren could be hired and paid for the care they provide – spouses are excluded. In other words, family members could become paid caregivers.
The money can also be used to purchase items related to their activities of daily living; a cleaning service, meal preparation, laundry service and transportation for medical appointments are also acceptable services.
There are 4 different types of Cash and Counseling Programs, available in 49 states as of June 2015.
Eligibility Requirements for Consumer Direction Care Programs:
You must qualify for Medicaid and apply for a Medicaid waiver.
In most cases participants are required to be 65 or disabled and a resident of the state that offers the program.
If the senior has a life insurance policy the eligibility requirements may differ, but they can still be eligible.
Applying for Consumer Direction Care Programs:
Interviews are conducted with the senior, caregiver and physician to determine the senior's care needs.
Based on the interviews the hours of care needed per month are determined.
A budget is determined based on hours and care and the cost of care in that state. The budget can change as the senior's needs change.
Some programs are subject to payroll taxes if payroll taxes are due the family member has to register with their state as a licensed care provider and be subjected to a background check.
There is no cost to apply for Medicaid or a Medicaid waiver. It could take 2 to 4 months for processing.
For a list of programs per state visit on the National Resource Center for Participant-Directed Services website. Or, contact your local Medicaid, human services, or social services office.
Helpful Answer (0)

Thank you @freqflyer
Helpful Answer (0)

Please note that Medicare does not have any programs to pay relatives to care for their love ones at home. Medicare will pay for intermittent professional skilled nursing care, physical therapy, speech-language pathology services, continued occupational services all of which might be a hour a day couple days a week.

Medicaid might, depending on the State and what programs are available at this point in time, and if the patient is eligible. Note that grown child caregiver might feel that they are doing 12 hours of care of their loved one, and Medicaid might see it as only 4 hours of care. Like I said, it depends on the State rules and regulations.
Helpful Answer (0)

To marisareid08, you didn't say how old your mother was but I would think that Medicare or Medicaid would help reimburse you for care. check with them to see if they have a plan in place to pay children to care for their parents. I know at one time, they didn't but I've read articles that said they were discussing ways for children to get paid to take care of parents because of all the problems with abuse at the nursing homes. Also, talk to IRS. They will tell you whether it's ok for you to set up a plan with your mother to pay you just like she would pay a CNA to come take care of her daily. You would pay yourself wages and deduct taxes just like you would with anyone else. You may need her doctor's order to say she absolutely needs 24/7 care in order for you to be able to be paid but that shouldn't be a problem. Good luck with this. You're going to be tired from taking care of 2 kids, your house and mom but I know the feeling. Parents take care of kids and kids need to return the favor when they're old if possible. If not possible, maybe Medicare or Medicaid will help . Ignore cmagnum, you don't need that kind of help.
Helpful Answer (0)

marisareid08 m that’s a very common question asking about being paid. Majority of grown children do not get paid for caring for their parent, unless the parent is financially able to pay from their own pocket. You would need an employment contract

If you live in the States, see If your parent qualifies for Medicaid, the State might allow a trained Caregiver come in to help for a couple hours. Also check to see if your State is one of those States that has a “Cash and Counseling” program to help you out, it‘s worth looking into. Note that each State has their own rules, regulations, and programs.

Also if your mother is a senior contact your county agency on aging for programs such as Meals on Wheels, Adult Day Care, etc... go to the website link

What are your mother's disabilities.... sounds like she has mobility issues. Who was carrying for her prior to you willing to do the full-time caregiving? Or have you been her caregiver for quite some time? Or was this all sudden?

Why cmagnum asked if you were super-woman is because most of us on this forum are older and have been doing caregiving, being hands-on or logistical, know it can age you quickly and harm your health. Especially since you have two young children who also need your attention. Please note that 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were carrying.
Helpful Answer (1)

You're welcome.
Helpful Answer (0)

@Jeannegibbs. I appreciate all of your answers. however i was raised in a family were you take care of the ones who always took care of no its not black mail or anything like that. And as far as im concern if cmagnum as been doing this so long then he should know how to talk to a person with out sarcasm..
Helpful Answer (1)

marisareid08, who paid for the alacare? Did she pay herself or was an agency involved? If an agency was involved, I suspect there was a case worker assigned. That would be an excellent starting source. Ask for an appointment with that person and discuss your mother's increased needs. A case worker should know what her agency can do and ALSO should be able to steer you to other sources.

If Mom has never had a case worker, get her one. Call her county's Social Services department and ask for a needs assessment appointment. (There may a big wait for this, but the sooner you start, the sooner it will happen.) Be sure you are present when that interview takes place. This person should have all kinds of information on what is available in her area. He or she can help you determine what to apply for and how to go about it.

This is how we went about it for our mother. At first she got the weekly vitals check. They added housekeeping (and my disabled brother got paid for cleaning her little apartment and doing her laundry). Signed her up for Meals on Wheels. They tried lots of methods to help her with her med taking. Mom eventually got to the point where she couldn't live alone even with that support. We were going to place her in Assisted Living when my newly-retired sister offered to take her in. This involved a switch in counties, but the new county just took over from the first one. My brother continued to clean her area of the house. My mother paid for her room and board out of her small SS. And my sister got paid for a certain number of caregiving hours per week (Not 24 a day!) This was great for Mom and cost the county a WHOLE LOT LESS than paying for a care center. The time finally came when she needed a care center. The case worker help with the administrative end of that transition.

My state was among the first (and for a long time only) states that recognized the common-sense approach of seeking the most cost-effective ways to provide care. Often that means paying family members!

I don't know how it is in your state. I think the way to begin the search to find out is to contact any case worker that has been involved or to start the tedious but beneficial process of getting Mom a case worker.

Another source of information of what is available should be your state's council on aging. I started with the Social Services department, but others here may be able to share their experiences with that route.

I'm on your side! If you are going to care for your mother, you should be entitled to the same compensation that would be paid to in-home help. Keeping Mom out of a care center as long as possible is most cost-effective for the county and state, too. Win-win, as far as I can see. But then I live in a state where that is public policy and has been for some time.

marisareid08, have you ever heard the expression "When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail"? cmagnum has been a long-time contributor to his site, and has offered many helpful and insightful responses. His particular "hammer" is dysfunction families and persons who are emotionally blackmailed into unhealthy relationships. I think your "I am supposed to do that" phrase lead him to wonder if that might be the case here.

My experiences are very different. I respect cmagnum's contributions, but sometimes my responses are in a different direction.

This site is most helpful if you don't expect any one answer to be absolutely right for you but read them all and see what you can get out of the whole batch. Try not to be judgmental of the responses you get. We are all caregivers, and we all do our best. Taking time out to try to help another caregiver, even if we are not always right or don't always understand the situation, should be appreciated.
Helpful Answer (3)

And no im not super woman but i am a 25 year old woman who takes care of her two kids and disabled mother 24/7 ....
Helpful Answer (1)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.