Can I get my mum into a sheltered housing or a caregiver?

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My brother sold mums house just before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's then moved her into his house on her own He now tells me I can only see her when he says Tells me to clean the house shower her
There's no windows in the room that I can open with locks no key She doesn't pick her own food they bring in what they want her to have he constantly tells me his house his rules Gives her no money Won't buy food for her dog she wants only what he wants her to have I want care to come in she needs this he says no he's not paying out money out for this Mum as savings pensions coming in he's got POA over her finances I don't care about money just want her to have proper care is his attitude abuse What can I do I'm frightened she is going down hill I want to stop this does POA mean over her health care as well as her money can anyone help me

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I'm done thanks
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ChurchMouse,

You have the patience of a saint. Is it early morning where you are?

It is a bit past midnight here, good nite, CM.

M88
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Lanie I live in rented accommodation too. I have a rich sibling who looks down on me too. What's that got to do with your mother's needs? I don't see why that should stop you cautioning your brother if you feel her needs aren't being met, and telling him what provision is necessary.

Does your mother have income of her own? She will in any case be entitled to the normal state pension, of course, but there are other allowances and benefits that she is equally *entitled* to (no nonsense about being too proud to claim!); and she may also have other state, private, widow's or occupational pensions or annuities.

Did Social Services give you an idea of when they'd get back to you?
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Waiting for them to ring me
No point talking to him I live in rented property he looks down on me he's rich I'm poor
But really I'm the rich one
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You may not be worried about the money but your Local Authority might be. There are rules about things like this. The facts are all a matter of public record. If your brother has played fast and loose beyond what they can turn a blind eye to, he will be pursued for it and they have long memories. I'm not saying this as some kind of judgement on your brother; just make sure he's aware of the realities so that he can put anything right that he needs to. Or don't worry about it - not your problem.

When are Social Services coming to assess your mother's needs?
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S/ s coming to assess her s/housing special needs
House valued at 63.000 he paid mum for it 40 for it
Mum paid 87.000 for it and got 40 for it she agreed
But don't you think she was and is a vuneable adult he took her to the docs and he said she was competent 3 monthes later she was not
I don't think doctors are all that interested .
But not been botherd about money no prob
I'm just trying to show a pic of the sort of man I'm dealing with .
He leaves her short of money won't let her feed her dog
That I got for her the food she's been used to
Won't let her do her own shoping
Or let me take her
She only goes out now in my car or her grandsons car which is my brothers son . Whom until I told him he needs to look after her bank card .
Was taking her money
Which is in my book is stealing .
I did try to speak to him about it but he only said my mum got more of him than his son could get of her
I have tried so very very hard to be polite not talk back
But his emails are insulting rude and unfair
He does not care about our mother
He does not ring for weeks or sees her
His two sons may call from time to time
His wife hardly
I go or ring every day I'm 20/25 minutes away he's just round the Corner 5 mins
He does not want to spend money of hers for care that mum really needs
She forgets to wash eat and drink so she needs care in or moving from his house I had to go over at 9.30 last night her phone rang but no anwser
Not one of them would answer to me they are nearer they could have checked so I went
No problem but it would be nice if they would help me
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Lanie, if your brother thinks he can get away with that no questions asked he's got another think coming. Sounds like he needs better advice as much as you do!

I wouldn't get too hung up on the precise house value. £23,000 - that's an oddly exactly figure to put on it, by the way! Where did you get it? - isn't the kind of amount that a lady with Alzheimers Disease couldn't easily knock off her property through neglect and damage. In the end, in our screwed-up property market, a house is worth what somebody actually pays for it and nobody can really prove any different.

There are literally dozens of organisations you can approach for help. Some are official, if you like, such as your GP, your mother's GP, your local authority and so on. Then there are also all of the advice lines and not for profit organisations that assist with elder care and the protection of vulnerable adults.

So the question is, what do you want to do? If I know what steps you plan to take, I can make better suggestions about who might be able to help you.

If the answer is the same as it was - "get my mother into sheltered housing" - then you know it isn't as simple as that. Get her into sheltered housing of what sort? To be cared for by whom? With a care package provided by whom? With whose agreement and authorisation?

Step 1 is to contact Adult Social Services for your mother's area and find out if she has a case worker. If she has, that person should be your main contact. If she hasn't, you can take the whole story to them from the beginning and they will advise you what your options are.

And listen. If all you really want to do, when all's said and done, is just tell someone how you feel and how worried you are, then that's fine too. But it's less frustrating for us readers if you're clear about what you'd like from us! Hugs to you, feel better.
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No my brother and I have not had a rel-ship for 30y we have a sister same there
My brother took mum One day without telling me and had POA drawn up
No family meeting did it
I was not to bothered becouse I trust him
As far as caring about mum
It's him that insults her.
He bought her house for £23000 less then It's value at that time not telling me
In Dec 2013 in March 2014 mum was told she had alzihmers m
Things have gone down hill from then .
Now he tells me he as bought a new garage out of mums money for his house
To get mums money down so she can get benifits to pay for her care
I don't think he's an honest man
I don't care he can have it all money I don't care about
Mum I do very much
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Lannie,
Please contact the source that Church Mouse speaks about, now, right now. Have you slept well, eaten breakfast and taken your medicine for the bipolar?
You need to be calm, cool and collected when you approach the resources given to you.
Don't ramble on and on. Let the phone people ask you their questions. Just answer the question without jumping to another idea.
Listen carefully to their guidance.
Have a plan in place when you are done talking to them.

I am glad your son is supportive of you.

Call now, tell us how they're going to help you. Thanks,

M88
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No reason why it shouldn't be again, I mean!
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