Can I get in trouble for not making my husband bathe?

You say your DH does 'not have Alzheimer's, he is just very stubborn & hard headed.' Meanwhile, he refuses to bathe, refuses to wear but ONE set of clothes, forcing you to wash that one set at night when he cannot see you do it, over & over again, he will not allow you to help him, and he refuses to see a doctor. This behavior REEKS of dementia in every way, shape and form. Has he been tested for dementia? If not, then you cannot say he 'does not have Alzheimers' which is only one form of the many dementias. Stubborn behavior of THIS magnitude is not normal adult behavior and needs to be properly diagnosed by his PCP, which he will not agree to go do.

I don't know that you would 'get in trouble' with the law for the fact that DH refuses to bathe........but you're already 'in trouble' mentally & emotionally by trying to deal with an impossible situation at home with a man that refuses to address his health issues. How much longer can that go on before YOU have a breakdown of some sort?

The next time DH has an angry meltdown of any kind, you can call 911 and have him shipped off to the ER for a medical evaluation and/or a psych evaluation. At that point, he can perhaps get tested and diagnosed for what's going on with him in ALL areas, both physically and mentally. You can then get guidance from the social workers at the hospital about what to do next.

You can also call APS to have him evaluated for choosing to live w/o cleaning himself and w/o medical care, and let them determine the next move. Their evaluation may be just what's needed to get the ball rolling for his future care.

Best of luck with a difficult situation.

No, you won't be in trouble for not making your husband bathe if he doesn't want to, and although it would be tempting to suggest you leave his clothes alone and let him wear others or go au naturel, so to speak, we've had clients who are similarly fanatical about just the one outfit and I understand that you're probably taking the line of least resistance on that point.

The only thing I'd question is the refusal to see any doctors. How long is it since he was last examined or assessed? There are other forms of mental impairment besides Alzheimer's Disease; his heart disease puts him at serious risk of vascular dementia; and if he *does* turn out to lack mental capacity then his refusing medical attention isn't quite such a clear-cut choice.

Does anyone besides you get to spend any significant amount of time with him? I'm wondering if you could organize a mental capacity assessment on the sly.

Why would you ever be accused of neglect? As far as you know he is competent adult. Caregiving guild about fixing everything and talking care of every aspect of somebody’s life is just too much.
Showering is different matter, got OT to send somebody to install bars in proper places, bench etc. and I get help for showers.
I as caregiver, see my role as supportive spouse, who is not responsible for my mentally competent husband decisions.

He may actually have a fear of getting in the shower at this point. Do you have a safe walk in shower for him, with grab bars, shower bench and secure shower mat in place for him? If not, you will want to add those things.
And I know you think he doesn't have any mental decline, but not wanting to shower often goes hand in hand with all of the dementias including Alzheimer's.
You can also just buy the extra large body wipes and waterless shampoo and conditioner caps to use for the time being as well. You can order both on either Walmart.com or Amazon.
And some people have had better luck with hiring an aide to come in to shower their loved one, verses trying to do it themselves.
I wish you the very best as I know how hard this is for you.

I agree with Mountain Mouse that you need documentation of what you are seeing. You say that there is no Alzheimer's or other dementia here. I must imagine, if you cannot get him to clean his own body, that you have not been able to get him in for any assessment of his mental state, so I don't have a lot of confidence in your assessment.
I would contact APS myself. It is not safe to be in a filthy condition. Some sort of assessment will need to be done. APS can assist you with this. I would imagine with such a person there is no POA or Advanced directive, so I don't know how far you can go with his doctor, but this is reportable to the MD.
And of course a shower isn't necessary; simply cleaning oneself with a warm clothe should be sufficient for someone of a certain age.
As you make all these steps you are documenting thereby your good faith efforts to keep this man safe, thus relieving you of responsibility.
I wish you luck.

If he is of sound mind, he has free will to reject all those things, even those things that'll keep him healthier. I recommend documenting everything, what you ask of him, what he refuses, etc.

Since he refuses to help you to help himself or see a doctor, I'd also recommend a request by the city/county to come in and evaluate him.