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Carol
I understand you needing relief from all the emotional pain and grief you are experiencing. And that is absolutely essential for you. Leave now if personal safety is an issue, going to a shelter if you have to.
But I also see your father as having legitimate needs to be addressed, as well. If he cannot fend for himself, get some help from someone in caring for his needs. (Through Social Services, APS, etc.) Then, go in relative peace, and care for your own needs. Psych meds won't take away your need for personal responsibility, and may only mask the underlying issues you need to face. Getting wise counsel may do wonders. Choose carefully! Will be praying for you.
http://www.elderrage.com
In this case, they changed the father's meds and that made all the difference.
AlzCaregiver, Thank you for sharing the above link.
Have you claimed him as a dependent on your taxes? Has he lived and depended on you for more than 3 months? Then yes, abandonment can be raised. But truth be told, WHO, would file that suit? Other siblings? Who currently has power of attorney? Who controls the finances? If there is any possibility of you having financial gain from leaving, then yes - it can be an issue.
First-things-first, however, he should be getting counseling or seeing a doc to see if meds or other treatment helps. And get help from social services, etc. If you're at the point of leaving, then it's also time to be bringing in help.
If he can take care of things on his "own," he has all legal control, like not having given anyone Power of Attorney, has been determined to have capacity by a physician, then he is just an adult. You can leave any adult.
Forget the "morals" of it. U.S. law gives you no special privileges as a daughter, nor does it impose any obligations.
He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and SeeFore syndrome (he had a strange compulsion to blow himself up!). When the Al Queda boys got hold of him and told him all kinds of things they fired him up and the rest is history!! We were able to bury him in a shoe box cause he blew the rest of himself up!!
It was a cheap funeral anyway ... but messy!!
Hasseem el-Rafsanjani
Tikrit, Iraki Republic
How are seniors treated in Tikrit? Are there traditional ways of which family members care for their parents when they are old and frail? I guess the tread is about abandoning a parent once you have started to care for him...in the original poster's case, because the father is abusive.