Follow
Share

My moms longtime friend moved in with me 7 months ago. She lived in a small travel trailer. I felt sorry for her, so I offered her a room. Well, she's fallen 4 times since she moved in. I was there all 4 times. she hasn't fallen for about 3 months. A couple of weeks ago she could barely walk, even with a walker. My mom, and I took her to the hospital, and they said she can't walk well due to her chronic alcohol abuse. She's doing a lot better now, but still has some issues. My question is, if I were to leave to spend time with a friend for example, and she falls, and hurts herself. She calls 911, and ends up in the hospital. Could I go to jail, or be charged, or something? I mentioned a caretaker for her to come in when im gone, and she said no. Also im gone a lot. Can range from 30 mins to 8 hours. I was planning on going out of town for a couple of days to visit my brother, but I'm terrified she'll fall.

Find Care & Housing
Who is buying her alcohol?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Bulldog54321
Report
Nicholas1302 Sep 12, 2025
She was buying herself alchole. She hasn't drank since her hospital visit.
(1)
Report
Yes Nicholas she is unsafe in your Home and Not your responsibility . She Needs rehab and Physical therapy and perhaps they can Place her . You did Not Know about the falls . It is time for a talk that she will need another Place to go . Check Housing authorities for senior apartment and Housing Lists . it was Kind of you but now she is hindering your Life . No You would not go to Jail and if you feel this it's really time for her to leave . I will tell you what Happened to me recently a friend from Cape Cod was leaving and moving to upper state NY . I had Not seen him since before Covid . He started to not want to do audio and only texted . He was a therapist and a cranial sacral therapist - he Had stayed at One of other Homes to teach in Cambridge for 5 days . I Met him in 2013 when I was Looking for a room mate . So he texted me a couple weeks and asked " if he could Visit ? " I said " Sure it is Labor Day weekend , come Visit . " he showed up with all his Belongings and food and basically Moved himself in - I couldn't get to my Laundry, garden or freezer and started feeling Like I couldn't go home. I said to him after 6 Days " Ben I have to have a talk with you - you need to leave . Today I have a lot of work to do . " He asked If " he could stay another day ? " I said " No ." He has a sister with a big House In Upper state NY and wealthy parents in Manhattan . Turns Out Unbeknownst to me He is a Paranoid schizophrenic and Has decompensated . I did not Know he had schizophrenia he Hid it well but I certainly could Not take care of him. Learn Boundaries Nicolas . I felt 100 % Better after he finally drove Off and I don't think we will communicate again .
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to KNance72
Report
SnoopyLove Sep 12, 2025
KNance, yikes, sorry that happened to you. Sometimes it does seem as if no good deed really does go unpunished! Glad you got him out of your home.
(1)
Report
You just tell APS when you offered her a room, you weren't aware of the care she needs and may need further on. Your not in the position to care for her. They need to find her a place to live. You have planned a vacation and your afraid to leave her alone. Do not except them bringing in someone to help her. Tell them she is not related and you do not want responsibility of her. You thought she could care for herself.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

I don't think she'd have the wherewithal to sue you, but hopefully she doesn't have a litigious adult child lurking somewhere. Kudos for trying to help her but as been already pointed out, you're in over your head with her -- especially if she's still drinking. If she doesn't have a medical diagnosis of cognitive or memory impairment, then you can make up some story about why she has to move out (repairs that will shut down the electrical and/or water, etc; fumigation, whatever you think she'll believe, but them you have to have a place for her to go. If her prior place is still vacant move her back there and report her to APS. Don't tell them she was living with you until now or else they may consider your place her legal residence and then you'd have to evict her if she won't cooperate and leave.

Her alcoholism is probably why she's at this condition in her life. You didn't cause it and you can't fix it, so don't feel guilty. The county can provide the help she needs, not you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

It was generous of you to let her move in! But she needs more care than you can provide, and you should not be held hostage to her needs, especially since she's not even a relative. I suggest you call Adult Protective Services and tell them that she is not a family member, you have no legal authority such as POA or guardianship (and don't seek those out for her!), and you need them to find an appropriate placement because she can no longer live with you for safety reasons. Good luck, and let us know how it goes. (And if she does go to the hospital in the meantime, tell the discharge planner that she cannot come back to your home because it would be an unsafe discharge.)
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to MG8522
Report
Nicholas1302 Sep 12, 2025
Thank you for your answer. We are going to see her doctor today. Should I tell him that she is not safe in my home?
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter