My husband has developed dementia in the last year as a result of strokes. He is still appropriate and engaging for the most part but struggles to keep up with conversations, eats excruciatingly slow, gets many of his facts wrong, and struggles to remember things. However, he still loves people and to socialize.
I live in an active adult community far away from family. Now that things are opening up, I no longer know how or even whether I can socialize within this community, or enjoy its amenities.
Do I try to include him? My concern is people either know that he has dementia or quickly detect he is "off" and won't want to spend time with us as a package. His deficits will become even more obvious if I have to cue him and he is embarrassed by it or resistant to it.
If I don't include him, then I feel really tied down. I work fulltime so I pay a fulltime caregiver already. I can neither afford, nor do I think it is fair to my husband who is still very observant, to run off and have fun without him while he is stuck at home with a stranger. He is still interested in life and wants to be included and spend time with me.
I also can't afford to retire; paying for his care is pushing retirement further down the road. Finally, I have a great job/career and am not in a position to leave it to move closer to family who love him and would be invested in being more inclusive of him.
How do I navigate this time in our lives where we are both "stuck"?