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My 96-year-old mom has dementia. She also broke her hip and had surgery to repair in January. After nursing home and board & care stay, she is now living in my home. Her dementia will prevent her from ever returning to her mobile home and I must sell it. I've read all kinds of accusations about elder financial abuse by family members. But, my mom can afford to pay. Is it unethical to charge her to live in my home? The process of moving her from another state a couple of years ago into her mobile home and taking care of her and her mobile home and now moving her to my home has taken a huge toll on my time and my finances. I'd like to know the legal implications without having to pay an attorney for advice. I have my mom's POA. I am the executor of her trust when she passes. If I place my mom in a memory care or board and care facility it will cost far more than keeping her at my home. Please advise.

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97yroldmom, I had to show the receipts to the financial officer at my mom’s facility. They handled everything to do with Medicaid for her. I would turn in the receipts every three months at the care conference. I would also turn in bank statements.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Ethically, I dont know that is your own moral compass so only you can answer that. If your asking if it is legal, yes, but you should set up a caregiver agreement, keep proper logs and invoices.
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Reply to tacy022
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Thanks for your answers. Guess I'll have to consult an attorney. I was hoping to avoid that expense.
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Reply to JanTaylor
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When my Mom lived here, I paid the bills on her house with her SS. Her small pension, I used for her. I paid for perscriptions, diapers, anything that was for her. I kept receipts for everything by month. Her living with us wasn't that much. Taking her out to dinner was the biggest thing. When she was still with it she wanted to treat. If she had leftover money for the month, I would use it.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I had a relative that paid herself $100 a week for bed and board plus $10 an hour for time spent on direct care (bathing and grooming, dressing, taking her to appointments, etc.). She kept a log of what direct care tasks she performed and how much time she spent. Medicaid accepted the log without issue when her cousin needed NH. It may be different by state, but I think Medicaid is usually reasonable so long as there is a log and/or receipts to document the money was for care and not "gifts".
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Reply to TNtechie
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it is absolutely fine for your mother to pay her fair, proportionate share of the household budget. Keep comprehensive records.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Amijoy
Someone asked on another thread. Who did you show the receipts to?
Was this to apply for Medicaid for your mom?

Jan
Since your mom has Alzheimer’s its quiet likely that she will need additional care in her future. Since you are her POA it would be a good idea to protect her ability to file for Medicaid should she need it in the future.
If you visit a certified elder attorney and go over her paperwork, you could have a care agreement drawn up to establish a proper paper trail for any authority that might question how you spent her money.
If you have siblings that might object, you would have the documents to back up your decisions and quieten any discord.

We all know how expensive it is to care for our loved ones. If your mom can afford to pay her way, there’s no reason for her not to. She ( and you) just need to make sure your ducks are in a row. A few dollars now mght well protect thousands in the future and give you peace of mind.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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I was thinking a Caregiver Agreement between you, but if Mom is not of sound mind, it probably wouldn’t be valid. I would check with an attorney to make sure what you are doing is ok and above-board so you aren’t accused of misappropriating mom’s funds. Most family caregivers don’t get paid by their LO unless an agreement is drawn up between them. Even though my mom and I were on a joint account, I was her POA and Executrix, I had to show receipts for everything I took from her account to prove it was for her since she was the primary. Just to be safe, I’d consult an attorney.
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