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My husband, who is 15 years older than me, is in bad health physically (has prostate cancer) and has some dementia going on. If he ends up in assisted living (which will be private pay as we have LTC insurance) can I seek a divorce? I would like to move on with my life and he wants me too. This may sound harsh but we are realistic. I know I can file for divorce but would like to know about the timing..if we should do it before he ends up in AL or his dementia gets worse.

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If you divorce your husband, you will lose the rights to be his medical advocate, help with carrying out his wishes for end of life, you may lose the P.O.A., 1/2 of any assets will become a war with family intervention, you can be falsely accused of not having his best interests at heart, you can be prevented from visiting him in AL., etc. the list is endless. FYI.
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Whatever path you both chose us going to be complex & really you both need good legal advice. I'd suggest you start with a NAELA certified one.

There's a lot of issues that could get sticky....like a fair division of assets; who will become his DPOA MPOA, etc. IF there are children from prior marriages or assets carried over into this marriage this could be really really sticky to deal.
If a divorce s what you both want you need legal to get on this ASAP.

Oh & about the LTC insurance policy, review it are fully to see what the coverage is. Many require an other pay window (often 90 days) before the LTC will kick in & pay whatever limits are as per policy. His policy limits may not pay for all costs. You may want to look at facilities to see which will provide his care needs and will take LTC insurance. My moms NH did not take LTC insurance as a Payor. What billing told me when I asked as to why.....was that each of the LTC companies had their own different criteria for reinbursement and it was just too paperwork heavy to get paid which was often delayed....that really accepting medicaid was better as the NH was paid like clockwork from the state will no BS once the resident was Medicaid eligible. I have no idea if this (facility's not taking LTC insurance) is a trend or a one off by this NH group.
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The previous writer concerning LT ins.urance prompts me to ask a . Have any of you dealt with LT care insurance and what was your experience? I am urging my daughter and husband to look into this while they are still young (ish) but I know that in some cases the policies have not done what the buyer thought they would.
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Kashi, you can divorce him, but that won't save the house from Medicaid. They still do a 5 year look back, so does the VA now. If he has a pension, you lose survivor's benefits. If you were married less than ten years, you also lose social security benefits. You may create more problems than you solve.
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pamstegma...We can pay for his LTC in assisted living...he has LTC insurance and has his own pension and SS that should be more than enough to pay for his care. I was never listed as a survivor on his pension as it deducted way too much. I also am not entitled to his SS as I have a Fed'l Govt pension ...so his money can all go to his care. I have my own money...The only family he has is a son who doesn't seem to be interested in him. But he would be well taken care of.
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As far as I know, there's no government assistance i..e...medicare or medicaid that pays for Assisted Living. So this is strictly self pay...therefore, don't understand why AL facilities would not accept LTC insurance.
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The State of Tennessee pays for services in assisted living communities. The program is called TennCare CHOICES in Long-Term Care. Participants that choose to reside in a community will receive financial help for nursing and personal care services. Room and board is not covered by this Medicaid waiver.
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I spoke with an assisted living facility today and they said that my LTC insurance pays me and I then pay the AL ....I always thought that the LTC insurance paid the facility directly....has anyone had any experience with LTC insurance...???
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LTC insurance pays after personal pay with the billed normally faxed to them. They only pay a % of the bill. My mom's LTC paid 80% of her monthly bill.
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There are so many types of Long Term Care Policies. I have one with Liberty Mutual. I can either have the money sent directly to me, to an assisted Living Facility, Nursing Home or agency that provides caregivers.
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