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Will try to keep brief. Mom battled Dementia for 5 yrs. Spring of '12 - July '13 her @$$ of a husband refused to cooperate and disclose his assets so that i could hopefully get her qualified for a little county help (someone to help me by coming in and cleaning a few days, help with showers etc. to give me a little break from the Depends life that she was now living). He has money, she never did yet she paid for everything other than the house pymt (HIS house) so this drained her SS income dry. He always had a drinking problem in their 17 yr marraige but now the drinking really escalated as this is how he coped.

Fast forward to July 2013...more and more mom would slip off the bed and onto the floor and was too weak to pull herself up (arthritis), if it was at night, he was too drunk to or passed out so I would either get a screaming ph call from him in the night or the Life Alert folks or sherriffs dept. He fell twice in a wk and gashed his head which landed him in the hospital and mom finally in a NH (she couldn't be left aone).

July-Dec, 2013 mom was in the NH...my out of state sister and I tried frantically to get her approved oin Medicaid, it never did go through because of his prenup stating he wasn't responsible for her and a law changed in Nov. which of course upheld this prenup now.

Fast forward, finally settle the NH bill from $22k+ down to $14k. Out of 4 girls in my family, the one sister and split the bill (I had to take out a loan) and we paid it. (Finally) my Questions: 1) Can we each claim that $7000 on our taxes? 2) I still have several hundred dollars worth of bills coming to me (I was the POA for Medical and Co-POA for Financial)...am I responsible for these? I do not have extra money and of course mom didn't as I mentioned.

Sorry for the long post...for this last year when I feel like I deserved the right to grieve...all I've had is legal/financial battles with her lying, selfish drunk of a husband...instead of grieving one of the most beautiful selfless persons that ever lived. I miss her so much it hurts....

I live in Wisconsin. Thanks for letting me vent.

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This is so sad. I am glad I joined up here. I had no idea that a nursing home would go after someone's children to pay the bill. And I had no idea that a prenuptial agreement would EVER mean that your husband was not responsible for a NH bill. I thank you for writing in your story. Now I know, if I have to have my mom admitted to a NH, I will make sure I NEVER sign anything, except with the signature line including "signing for MOM as her designated POA" and take a photo and a video of the complete document I signed, just SO I don't get stuck with the bill. Those bills are really quite high and I certainly can't pay them.
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You need a professional to review your tax situation. Before you/sister sit down with preparer, pull out your tax returns that were filed for 2013: you, your sister and your mother. If your mother qualified as dependent for YOU/YOUR SISTER, you might be able to deduct a portion of medical expenses you paid on Schedule A if you itemize. If mother's husband filed with your mother as his dependent/spouse on a joint return for 2013, you will not be able to deduct the payment for medical expenses because she can't be dependent on both yours and his tax returns (not without special forms detailing this and percentage to each person). It's worth getting professional advice. His prenup stating that he was not responsible for her medical bills may also state that he cannot file with her exemption on his tax return. Did your lawyer review the prenup to see if he was responsible for any of the medical expenses? A spouse is typically responsible for expenses related to their husband/wife if they file joint tax returns. Odd.
With regard to the nursing home, if you checked her in pending Medicaid but signed as yourself instead of signing as her POA and keeping her responsible for expenses related to her own care (easy mistake to make under stress), you are the responsible party for charges. If Medicaid had been granted, your mother would still have had a share of cost for care, and the husband would have had to cough up part or all of mother's social security to the nursing home. That is probably why he didn't cooperate if her SS was paying for his lifestyle.
Your POA died with your mother. Payment of medical bills are the responsibility of the executor of her estate, not you as POA, unless you signed as the guarantor at hospital etc. You had best review all of the paperwork to make sure you are not "on the hook" as you were at nursing home. If your mother's husband was executor, send them after husband for payment. BUT GET PROFESSIONAL ADVICE AS THIS IS MUCH TOO COMPLICATED TO GIVE ACCURATE ANSWER WITHOUT REVIEWING ALL THE PAPERWORK INVOLVED.
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Wisconsin is a Marital Property State, I am surpised that her Husband was not legally responsible for either disclosing to Medicaid the assets ( only Jointly held assets count) ir paying for her care.
I know that I was bullied into a similar situation with my own parent who lived out of state.
There is a state of Wisconsin Long Term Care Ombudsman who negotiates these types of issues. It is actually against the law to kick someone out of a NH without a safe place to go.
Check with the IRS free phone line to find out about claiming the 7K.
Good luck. You would not be liable for any debts for your Mother as her POA, above what money she had.
Good Luck
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I can't spell today. I ment write off not right off. :)
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I agree with cmagnum, I doubt you can claim $7k on your income taxes for expenses. Double check with the IRS or with an income tax preparer.
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I don't believe you can claim it as a tax right off because it was not a medical expense for your own care.

I still don't understand why you had to pay this. Durable POAs are only responsible for paying bills using the person they are POA of, and not from their own money.
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The hospital where my mom went for a 3 day eval so that we could invoke the medical POA, called and said she was being released right then and there so they gave me the 30 min drive that i had to get to that town. The social worker that was assigned suggested the NH where she eventually was placed as they had an opening and it was one of the less expensive ones since they knew mom didn't have money but of course no one knew the path that this was going to eventually take. So having said that, while under total duress, stress and crying I signed whatever papers that were given to me by the NH. I kept asking if I would be responsible as I certainly did not have any money. The Administrative mgr said no....later on after all this happened and Medicaid was denied, her Supv. and the committee that over sees the finanacess of the NH's that they run, hired a lawyer and gave us 30 days. We did a consult with a lawyer (that's all we could afford was the initial mtg at $200) and he said needed to pay it (even though the laws in WI aren't set yet that a POA has to pay). Being the underdog, what does one do...we probably were bullied and legally maybe we didn't have to pay but how do you know when you aren't an educated legal professional.

Thank you for taking the time to respond.
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The hospital where my mom went for a 3 day eval so that we could invoke the medical POA, called and said she was being released right then and there so they gave me the 30 min drive that i had to get to that town. The social worker that was assigned suggested the NH where she eventually was placed as they had an opening and it was one of the less expensive ones since they knew mom didn't have money but of course no one knew the path that this was going to eventually take. So having said that, while under total duress, stress and crying I signed whatever papers that were given to me by the NH. I kept asking if I would be responsible as I certainly did not have any money. The Administrative mgr said no....later on after all this happened and Medicaid was denied, her Supv. and the committee that over sees the finanacess of the NH's that they run, hired a lawyer and gave us 30 days. We did a consult with a lawyer (that's all we could afford was the initial mtg at $200) and he said needed to pay it (even though the laws in WI aren't set yet that a POA has to pay). Being the underdog, what does one do...we probably were bullied and legally maybe we didn't have to pay but how do you know when you aren't an educated legal professional.
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Did you pay the bill because you felt it was the right thing to do or did you sign something saying you would be responsible for the bill if she didn't qualify for Medicaid? You are not responsible for your mother's NH bill.
Don't know about the tax situation.
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