Don’t rush into any decisions without thinking this through. Consider options that won’t require you to quit your job. If you are relying on your income don’t act in haste and leave your job. You may regret it.
According to your profile, you work fulltime, go to college part-time and are raising your 11-year-old daughter. And you and your husband's jobs are both 1.5 hours away. (!)
"I have been the caregiver to my mother in-law, who has CHF, Osteoarthritis, Chronic COPD, OSA, and is severely obese."
" My husband has pretty much left me to deal with mom, he simply cannot handle the stress of managing a business, working full time, and coming home to his mothers ever increasing need."
She has a lot of needs. So she is currently being left at home during the workweek? This doesn't sound good.
MIL is not YOUR problem. Your H needs to man-up and put his family first.
Time for his mother to go to a facility. Don't give up your job and benefits.
If you quit work, will you be able to pick up where you left off after MIL passes? You’ll be older and out of the loop. Younger people will be hired before you. It’s not easy to start again later in life.
If you need your income to keep afloat, then you simply cannot afford to quit. The state is not going to chip in and keep your standard of living the same it is now. You think you’re helping, but really you are sabotaging your own family.
Well the others covered some really important stuff but I wanted to add.....I read your profile and you have a younger child. Do you realize that becoming a caregiver to a sick elderly parent will quickly consume you? It will become your life. You will run yourself in to ground. Unless you’ve got multiple family members and or hired caregivers coming in regularly to give you a break, this is a bad bad bad idea. I’ve got an 11 year old too (and a 7 year old) and I would never ever become a full time caregiver to my aging parents, or to my in-laws. Ever. My children and husband come first. Your daughter and husband must come first.
In your state, there isn’t going to be full compensation for taking care of your MIL unless she can pay you a nice salary. If she’s eligible for a state or community program that would all you to be her paid caregiver, you would be paid minimum wage for a couple hours a day. You would not receive any benefits, no paid time off, no pension or retirement plan, nothing. You would be sacrificing some of your own future stability. If your insurance is currently through your employer, you will lose it.
But as a mother myself, I think with your MILs health issues, that it is too much to take on when you are raising a child. Your child must come first.
try to get her in to assisted living-there is financial assistance for that.
MaJones, the vast majority of grown children who are caregivers do not get paid.
If you quit your job please note you will not be only losing salary but a lot of other things most of us don't think about. If your company pays for your health insurance that would be huge lost for you. You will also miss out on monies being placed into your Social Security and Medicare.
Depending on your company benefits, if the company gives you matching or semi-matching 401(k) that would also be a huge lost. Same if the company has "profit sharing", and life insurance policy.
So you have a lot to think about. And please, don't use any of your own money for your Mom-in-law's care. You and hubby need your own savings for when you or hubby or both need extra care as you age. Plus you have an 11 year old at home.
Check to see if your Mom-in-law can apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Each State runs their own Medicaid programs. Most States have some type of care payment but don't be surprised if the hourly rate is very low, and the hours limited.
You have mentioned in your profile about Assisted Living. That would be great if Mom-in-law can budget for the monthly rent. My Dad was paying $6k to $7k per month. He loved it there being around people of his own age group.
"I have been the caregiver to my mother in-law, who has CHF, Osteoarthritis, Chronic COPD, OSA, and is severely obese."
" My husband has pretty much left me to deal with mom, he simply cannot handle the stress of managing a business, working full time, and coming home to his mothers ever increasing need."
She has a lot of needs. So she is currently being left at home during the workweek? This doesn't sound good.
MIL is not YOUR problem. Your H needs to man-up and put his family first.
Time for his mother to go to a facility. Don't give up your job and benefits.
If you quit work, will you be able to pick up where you left off after MIL passes? You’ll be older and out of the loop. Younger people will be hired before you. It’s not easy to start again later in life.
If you need your income to keep afloat, then you simply cannot afford to quit. The state is not going to chip in and keep your standard of living the same it is now. You think you’re helping, but really you are sabotaging your own family.
In your state, there isn’t going to be full compensation for taking care of your MIL unless she can pay you a nice salary. If she’s eligible for a state or community program that would all you to be her paid caregiver, you would be paid minimum wage for a couple hours a day. You would not receive any benefits, no paid time off, no pension or retirement plan, nothing. You would be sacrificing some of your own future stability. If your insurance is currently through your employer, you will lose it.
But as a mother myself, I think with your MILs health issues, that it is too much to take on when you are raising a child. Your child must come first.
try to get her in to assisted living-there is financial assistance for that.
If you quit your job please note you will not be only losing salary but a lot of other things most of us don't think about. If your company pays for your health insurance that would be huge lost for you. You will also miss out on monies being placed into your Social Security and Medicare.
Depending on your company benefits, if the company gives you matching or semi-matching 401(k) that would also be a huge lost. Same if the company has "profit sharing", and life insurance policy.
So you have a lot to think about. And please, don't use any of your own money for your Mom-in-law's care. You and hubby need your own savings for when you or hubby or both need extra care as you age. Plus you have an 11 year old at home.
Check to see if your Mom-in-law can apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Each State runs their own Medicaid programs. Most States have some type of care payment but don't be surprised if the hourly rate is very low, and the hours limited.
You have mentioned in your profile about Assisted Living. That would be great if Mom-in-law can budget for the monthly rent. My Dad was paying $6k to $7k per month. He loved it there being around people of his own age group.
She should also be paying rent, board and all of her personal expenses.
But first I suggest you read the many posts here from people who are burnt out from caring for a parent in their home.