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I have a letter from her doctor stating that she has moderate to severe cognitive decline. She does not have the cognitive ability to make her own medical or legal decisions.



I have healthcare POA, and financial POA.



The healthcare POA states that I can select and contract for my admission to, transfer me,...to hospitals nursing homes, assisted living facilities"



She is falling out of bed, went to ER again for stitches. She can hardly stand and has urinary incontinence to the point her bedroom and bathroom stink. she refuses to wear depends or cooperate in any way



I just want to ask...am I on solid ground here?



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I went to Danbury today. She is fine to go there. They will take care of her in AL to begin, but may transfer to memory care. They can provide all services, unless they get to the point where they need IV feeding, or Hoyer lift. So it was a really nice place and has a great reputation. I liked it.
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NYCmama Jul 2022
Best of luck, keep us posted.
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Your Mom may be well beyond being able to go into assisted living., but yes, you are on solid ground.
Begin to explore options for memory care and nursing home facilities. Take your doctor's letter with you. Your POA seems well written. Take this to banks now and be certain to take on the financial portion signing all bills for your Mom with her signature, and you as POA. All financial entities should have you on accounts as POA. If your Mom can manage a small personal account of her own you can create that. Know you must keep meticulous files for each bill, every penny in and out and do monthly accountings you keep track of.
Take your POA papers and MD letter with when you explore facilities; present your POA papers to them for their copying.
You should attend an hour with an Elder Law Attorney. This can be the person who did your POA for you and Mom if available or any other but check that you want to pay HOURLY fee only and would like to simply pass your POA past them so you know all your duties and know you have all the permissions needed. This will cost about 350.00 on average. Your Mom's accounts pay for this; it is part of being POA and is paid by the principal (the one who GAVE you POA). Remember, we are a forum of people who have been here and done this and that, not professionals. I did serve as POA and Trustee for my brother, but I am not a legal expert because of that.
The easiest way to place Mom will be from a three day hospitalization, so next fall you may wish to go to the ER. If she is admitted then contact Social Services at once with you papers, let her know you need discharge planning to a facility that will accept her. She may not be an "easy placement" and it may be difficult to get a facility.
Sorry you are facing this burden. It won't be easy. Be honest with Mom as you are able to. I wish you luck. I hope you'll update us as you go along.
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AlvaDeer Jul 2022
from internet: Look it up.
"After the principal's name, write “by” and then sign your own name. Under or after the signature line, indicate your status as POA by including any of the following identifiers: “as POA,” “as Agent,” “as Attorney-in-Fact” or “as Power of Attorney.”

How to Sign as Power of Attorney for Your Elderly Parent
In signing as POA the principal's name is signed and then YOUR NAME as POA. BOTH names should be signed and the principal's name is signed first. It is the principal's account.
Now this is different if you are assigned Trustee of Trust. In that case you sign only your own name followed by "Trustee" or TTE.
This is easily researched online.
I served my brother as both POA, and as Trustee of Trust. In all cases I had to sign according to whether dealing with POA accounts or the Trust. I was taught at his lawyer's knees, and re-taught at the bank
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I agree with AlvaDeer that AL may not be the appropriate level of care for her. If she's falling out of bed you may want to make sure her mattress is on the floor of her room, or apparently there is a concave mattress that makes it much harder for someone to get out of bed on their own. Is she also a fall risk getting up and out of a chair? If so, this needs to be problem-solved with admin prior to admittance. A person cannot be restrained no matter what, and this is a challenge for someone who doesn't remember that they can't stand on their own. She may wind up in LTC sooner rather than later. I'm dealing with this same dilemma with my Aunt who has advanced dementia, is strong enough to get out of her chair but doesn't remember she can't move unassisted. She's fallen 3x with family caregivers right with her, and broken bones 2x. If she goes into MC, she'd attempt to get up out of a chair or wheelchair. She technically doesn't qualify for LTC so she's in limbo. I hope you can work out a good solution for your mom!
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She's WAY beyond assisted living. She needs Memory Care, and they'll be perfectly capable of handling someone in a wheelchair who tries to get up. I saw it many, many times at my mom's place.

I would say that with the doctor's diagnosis and the powers of attorney that yes, you can definitely place her.
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Sarah3 Jul 2022
This isn’t legally correct - it might seem
like it but seeming like it and legally are two different things. I consulted w a couple different lawyers and they said that a poa can admit someone into medical facility if they need it and are refusing however an AL is NOT considered a medical facility under the law- it’s considered a housing option- they don’t provide medical care there, it’s not the same as a hospital or skilled nursing etc
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I consulted with a couple of lawyers re this bc Ive read and heard of people trying to force a loved one into Al claiming that they have poa

the answer I received from both lawyers who carefully looked at it is that an assisted living including those w memory care are NOT designated as medical care- they are designated as residential housing - a poa can get necessary medical care if the person refuses however poa does not allow you to make someone live somewhere they don’t want to. Because it’s not a skilled nursing or rehabilitation medical or medical facility, those Al places are considered housing not medical care.
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hoolyk Jul 2022
Sarah:

I hear what you are saying. They provide care at the facility I am taking her to, Independent living, assisted living, memory care, hospice care. Doctor provides care at the facility.

She will hurt herself badly if it continues on as is. I have the support of family and people near her, because they all see what is happening.

The facility says they have others who also admit family member that is as stubborn and resistant as my mother. She can't continue to live alone anymore. So I am going to move ahead with this. I know once she is there, she will love being with others, and playing bridge and getting good meals and physical therapy. I am making the best decision for her well being, so I am comfortable with that. She has a few friends that live there that she played bridge with.

I think she will get used to it quickly and like it. I am furnishing an apt for her now.

My healthcare POA says I can admit her to AL.
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Yep. If her own Dr. recommends it and you have POA over everything, yes you're on solid ground. You should do two things:

1) make inquiries about pricings ALs are SUPER EXPENSIVE.
2) Invite your mom to go with you when you tour ALs. This will give her a sense of purpose during decision making. If she refuses to go on the tours make sure you pick up packets that explain about the facility. You can even ask the person giving the tour if you can video tape the tour to show your mom later.
I hope these suggestions help.

Good Luck
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HI there, yes, you can. If you have financial and medical P.O.A. and a letter from the doctor indicating her cognitive decline you are fine. My husband and I did this in 2019 after my mom's stroke in our home. We got the POA when she was able to agree with it a couple years prior to her decline. My mom recovered well from the stroke physically, but started showing cognitive issues. Her type 2 diabetes, and kidney issues did not help. My husband and I had to work, and she was leaving stove burners on, taking risks and fell and broke her humorous. We had to make the hard decision to find a nice residential assisted living for my mom. She had her own room and bath, and it was a lovely place. Thankfully, she had good pension to pay for her stay. She was admitted with us as POA, and with a physicians report with her health status only. Sadly, my passed away December 7th of 2021, due to stage 5 kidney, failure, type two diabetes and CVA dementia. It was the best decision we could have made. She was well cared for and happy at her place. I wish you well with this decision friend. It will be ok.
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cpell122112 Jul 2022
My condolences on your loss. Your mom was very lucky to have such a wonderful daughter and son-in-law. May she RIP.
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Had my Daddy in a MCF - I told my Daddy "The doctor has not release you to go home yet, you need to do A, B, C then you can go home".
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I don't know, but I would want to check how the doctor reached his conclusion and in what circumstances he wrote the letter before I relied on it.

What does your mother think about the AL idea? Are you anticipating trouble or have you just not discussed it with her yet? If you can win her agreement you'll save yourself a lot of grief.
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hoolyk Jul 2022
The doctor has tested her in the office for dementia. She was also tested by the occupational therapist when they determined she was unable to drive.
Her short term memory is gone, and she becomes confused. She is beginning on occasion to mistake one person for another.

She will NEVER agree to leave her home. I keep stating this...so saying it one more time. She will say she knows she has to go sometime, "but I am doing really well for my age" There would never be a time that she would have agreed to stop driving either.

She is going to AL in a couple of weeks. I am doing it on my own. Many reasons for this.
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Just because mom has dementia does not make her incompetent. The doctor's letter has to say she is permanently incapacitated and unable to handle her own affairs.
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hoolyk Jul 2022
The doctors letter definitely states she has moderate to severe cognitive decline, and is unable to make financial, medical, etc decisions and has to reply on others to take care of her needs.
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