If Medicaid was paying for his AL, then Medicaid probably should have gotten the refund. You should have taken nothing. He is on Medicaid because all he has is SS. Any money he gets should go towards his needs not gifting it even at that small amount. Give it back to him.
Oh, LORDY! So I guess I missed your real story in the profile section? Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I don't know much what to say, other than that I withdraw pretty much my comments below, and would say that you should act as a POA.
A POA cannot enrich him/herself. If you do not understand POA please go to an attorney to have it explained to you. If you feel incompetent to understand POA you should not SERVE as POA, and should resign. Lordy. This is the New Year? Can we go back to the old or is that not an option.
Wow. This is up to/and on you. I am sorry, but as a nurse I have to tell you that.
I have a story here. I had a good friend, older than me, in fact almost my parents age, and an LPN in Missouri. She was called in to do private care for a wealthy dying man. She was quite the gal and she single-handedly and with LOVE and most of all with HUMOR bullied that man back into life. She got him up, fighting, moving, and better every day. He had some few years more. I can't recall how many, but more than five and less than a decade. Then fell ill again, and Seely was called in to care for him again. And she did the same for him again, but this time he didn't make it despite her loving care, and she, along with his entire family, mourned him. He died happy in her care. Now the family had all tried, all the time and after her first bringing him around, to gift Seely. She always said no, that it was not something she could do--could not accept this--that it was against her "mission".
But when this man died, he had left her WELL ENOUGH money to buy outright her own duplex. Really an astounding thing in the 70s. And she lived well the rest of her days, renting out one unit, living in the other.
We are taught, as caregivers, not to accept gifts. Yet, in Chicago, in the 60s, when I was in nurse's training at a particular hospital that served the Greek community, I was told by those in charge of the OB unit in which I worked that when I took mother and babe to the car to go home, it was BAD LUCK FOR THE BABY if I did NOT take a small gift for the luck of all involved. And so we did.
So go figure. This is something you must decide. I remember accepting a coffeemaker when ours on the unit was busted and the family knew it. But other things I waved away. Only you can make these decisions according to your moral compass. I wish you well.
I think you would be better off talking to a solicitor /lawyer. One who is specialized in these matters, regarding taking money from someone you give care to as there needs to be more depth to this question, like is the person you provide care for mentally stable to be giving the money away, are they considered vulnerable regarding making decisions, ie do they remember making these sorts of comments about gifting money to a friend, days or weeks/months after mentioning it? I would suggest that just because the money is being offered to you that you should not take it. Legally speaking if they give it you then forget that they have. You will be the first finger pointed at when the police are involved and you won't have a good reason,for taking said "monetary goody".
About Me I have a friend who is in a nursing facility. He has MS and his family has been out of the picture since day one. I have been his POA for many months, facilitated his moves to different facilities, advocated for him re his medications and his electric wheelchair, health care issues, etc. i also pursued, and after months, obtained a refund from the assisted living facility that dropped him. He asked me to hold on to the $1450 refund check which I did for over 6 months. He offered me half of the refund a few times previously but I declined. Just recently he offered half of it to me again and asked me to put the rest on a gift card if I would deposit the funds in my account (he didn’t want the funds in his own account saying “they will take it” ie the facility, as he does receive state funded Medicaid, which I did. I’ve consistently handled all of his requests for personal items, advocated with the staff re his complaints and resolutions, and I have provided consistent support for him with his mental health issues. Now suddenly he’s trying to change his mind and says he wants it all. I accepted his offer and have used my share already to pay for servicing my vehicle and pay off some bills. I do not agree, I’ve put over15k miles on my vehicle going to see him and care for him, I’ve spent literally hundreds of hours doing everything for this person, giving him precedence over my own time and needs. Question? If he gave me this money is there any reason why I can’t accept it?
Seems to me you've already accepted these funds and spent them, and now he's seeking the monies back? It seems like a POA shouldn't accept funds in this manner, with your friend being on Medicaid as well, but I'm no expert. Someone with more knowledge on the topic than I will come along and answer you, I'm sure.
How ever this pans out, I'd resign POA if I were you and stop investing ALL this time, effort and money of your own in a person who enjoys playing games. You don't mention dementia in your profile, so trying to take back a gift is flat out wrong, imo.
So I guess I missed your real story in the profile section?
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I don't know much what to say, other than that I withdraw pretty much my comments below, and would say that you should act as a POA.
A POA cannot enrich him/herself.
If you do not understand POA please go to an attorney to have it explained to you.
If you feel incompetent to understand POA you should not SERVE as POA, and should resign.
Lordy. This is the New Year? Can we go back to the old or is that not an option.
I am sorry, but as a nurse I have to tell you that.
I have a story here. I had a good friend, older than me, in fact almost my parents age, and an LPN in Missouri. She was called in to do private care for a wealthy dying man. She was quite the gal and she single-handedly and with LOVE and most of all with HUMOR bullied that man back into life. She got him up, fighting, moving, and better every day.
He had some few years more. I can't recall how many, but more than five and less than a decade. Then fell ill again, and Seely was called in to care for him again.
And she did the same for him again, but this time he didn't make it despite her loving care, and she, along with his entire family, mourned him. He died happy in her care.
Now the family had all tried, all the time and after her first bringing him around, to gift Seely.
She always said no, that it was not something she could do--could not accept this--that it was against her "mission".
But when this man died, he had left her WELL ENOUGH money to buy outright her own duplex. Really an astounding thing in the 70s. And she lived well the rest of her days, renting out one unit, living in the other.
We are taught, as caregivers, not to accept gifts.
Yet, in Chicago, in the 60s, when I was in nurse's training at a particular hospital that served the Greek community, I was told by those in charge of the OB unit in which I worked that when I took mother and babe to the car to go home, it was BAD LUCK FOR THE BABY if I did NOT take a small gift for the luck of all involved. And so we did.
So go figure. This is something you must decide. I remember accepting a coffeemaker when ours on the unit was busted and the family knew it. But other things I waved away. Only you can make these decisions according to your moral compass.
I wish you well.
About Me
I have a friend who is in a nursing facility. He has MS and his family has been out of the picture since day one. I have been his POA for many months, facilitated his moves to different facilities, advocated for him re his medications and his electric wheelchair, health care issues, etc. i also pursued, and after months, obtained a refund from the assisted living facility that dropped him. He asked me to hold on to the $1450 refund check which I did for over 6 months. He offered me half of the refund a few times previously but I declined. Just recently he offered half of it to me again and asked me to put the rest on a gift card if I would deposit the funds in my account (he didn’t want the funds in his own account saying “they will take it” ie the facility, as he does receive state funded Medicaid, which I did. I’ve consistently handled all of his requests for personal items, advocated with the staff re his complaints and resolutions, and I have provided consistent support for him with his mental health issues.
Now suddenly he’s trying to change his mind and says he wants it all. I accepted his offer and have used my share already to pay for servicing my vehicle and pay off some bills. I do not agree, I’ve put over15k miles on my vehicle going to see him and care for him, I’ve spent literally hundreds of hours doing everything for this person, giving him precedence over my own time and needs. Question? If he gave me this money is there any reason why I can’t accept it?
Seems to me you've already accepted these funds and spent them, and now he's seeking the monies back? It seems like a POA shouldn't accept funds in this manner, with your friend being on Medicaid as well, but I'm no expert. Someone with more knowledge on the topic than I will come along and answer you, I'm sure.
How ever this pans out, I'd resign POA if I were you and stop investing ALL this time, effort and money of your own in a person who enjoys playing games. You don't mention dementia in your profile, so trying to take back a gift is flat out wrong, imo.