By clicking
Talk to a Specialist, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Re: morphine. It is a common misconception that hospice deliberately speeds up death with morphine. Morphine does nothing but help the patient be more comfortable. It is not hastening their death. But what can you do? People believe what they believe. Good advice to have conversations with the whole family ahead of time so everyone is on the same page.
Frist, one thing you absolutely should do before calling hospice companies is to make a list of your wife's conditions, and ask specifically if their nurses can treat for that.
I.e., failing a swallow test suggests she's dysphagic, and won't be able to eat food that isn't pureed and liquids that aren't thickened. Ask if the home health aide can puree the food, and if they have aides who are experienced AND knowledgeable of dysphagia.
I asked that of private duty caregivers (not hospice staff) and found that aides either didn't have experience, knew about it but didn't have experience, had limited experience but didn't know the differences between levels of dysphagia, or outright refused to do it.
If you can't get help with that, you'll have to learn how to manage a dysphagia diet yourself.
Secondly, I would contact nonprofit hospice companies. In my search, I found that there's a world of difference, in flexibility and in compassion. I'm not religious but found that the Catholic facility and staff we had were far superior and helpful than any of the commercial hospice companies (some of which were just downright arrogant).
They even brought in a hospital bed so we could easily get her to sit up and raise her feet, and raise and lower the bed depending on what needed to be done. A nurse came twice a week to give her a bath (and in Mom's tiny bathroom--not an easy feat). They brought in Mom's priest and we had a chaplain visit--who I had to tell my own troubles to and helped me enormously.
Their patient advice, even the virtual "there, there", and listening helped all of us.
I'm sorry you're going through this with your wife. May hospice help bring her and you peace and support.
I’d like to add that hospice is a MediCARE benefit. As it’s MediCARE it’s considered self-directed, that is your wife (you as her spouse or MPOA) can choose which hospice. You can speak to more than one and select the one that seems the best “fit”.
You can change hospice provider if need be. I did this for my mom who shattered her hip and became bedfast & met the criteria for hospice while already living in a NH. The segue way from provider 1 to provider 2 was very straightforward and done within like 3 days from my written (faxed) notification to old hospice group after I’d selected the new one & the new hospice group provided a RN for the NH care plan meeting set for the next day. My mom was on hospice 18 long, l...o...n..g months, hospice was amazing for her and for us her family.
I had Hospice for my Husband for just over 3 years and he remained at home.
I have friends there spouses were in an Assisted Living and they had Hospice.
You will have a team of ANGELS that will help you and your Wife. Typically you will have a CNA if you want one, a Nurse, a Social Worker, a Chaplain if you wish to take advantage of that as well as volunteers that can come in and give you a break. And a wide variety of therapists that can help make her comfortable music therapy, massage therapy, and a few more.
You will get supplies and equipment that will help with her care.
As the saying goes..many hands lighten the burden...
Not that I ever thought caring for my Husband a burden but just having help made my life possible. Not to mention making his comfortable.
The only suggestion I have for you is to call a couple of Hospice, unless you know of one by reputation, and "interview" them just like you would any Doctor, or other professional. There are 2 types of Hospice Not for Profit and For Profit. The one I had in was a Not for Profit. I do not know if his care would have been different but I never had any reservations about the care he got, the help I got.
Hugs to both of you!
I'd urge you to call each hospice provider available to you and ask them what services they provide. The services do vary. Make notes of the calls so you can go back and look at it. Choose the one that has the best services for your situation. Medicare pays for all hospice services. Range of services goes from 2 hours of an aide five times a week (bathing, dressing, bed changing, help feeding, etc); Visits from an R.N.; spiritual care visit; volunteer visits, 24/7 hotline; etc. Once your wife is approved for hospice (often the day after your call) they deliver equipment she may need and services begin. The hospice workers I have been involved with are some of the most caring individuals I have EVER met. They will help with your journey. Sending prayers your way . . .
I'm very sorry to hear about your wife's devastating stroke. Please talk to a doctor, nurse or social worker. My understanding is yes, a patient can have hospice at home. Hopefully the doctor or hospital will give you all the information you need. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.