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siblings met to discuss final resting place and other issues in the past, lots of sibling drama, have written before about it....there's always 1 or 2 siblings that usually backtrack every time we think we've reached a decision even about our parents' final resting place, it's sad & quite pathetic that even this has to be an issue for some but for those, it seems to be more about power & control, a different sibling put down a deposit to hold 2 spots and simplify the matter, it's what we discussed but of course, a few weeks later, another sibling opposes the location (in nasty manner of course) but gives no other suggestions......anyway, guardianship matter is going to court, if a sibling or an outside person becomes appointed, can they change the final resting place and decide on a different place? will the judge address this topic at all? it was brought to the court's attention through a letter......(sick individuals yet all raised by the same wonderful parents).

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thanks for your input....I am trying to do just that, one sibling filed for guardianship (with a lawyer) and I responded to the courts requesting to do co-guardianship, just the fact that I responded will send the 2 siblings in a fury.
Even in rehab last summer, my mother was more worried about me than herself (I was pregnant with twins at the time) and told me to worry about myself and the babies, she's a tremendous mother and that's why I feel strongly about trying my best to honor their wishes even if it goes against some siblings....
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I'm sorry to hear all of that. Somehow a decision will need to be reached for the funeral director is going to want to know from the family what to do. Is there any way you can stand up for what you know are your parents' wishes? BTW, not only will this divided family not be happy with whoever is chosen to be the guardian which will likely be an outside third party person. Also, with no will, the state will have to settle the estate. That may ruffle some feathers as well. You have my prayers and best wishes.
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too late for a will as my mother is incapacitated in the hospital and my father has parkinsons/alzheimers....in the end, this is about power and control, the oldest feel they should have the final say, the oldest is weak and easily manipulated by a sibling who is full of anger and animosity....without my mother's positive influence, certain adult siblings have displayed behaviors so evil that it seems crazy that we were raised by the same wonderful parents, those I am talking about are also married to people who are negative influences and only perpetuate the arguing, threats, etc.....I've thought about letting things go knowing my mother wouldn't want this drama BUT I also struggle with wanting to honor their wishes and trying to do what's right by them, enough has gone on that I don't trust certain siblings to do the right thing regarding my parents' wishes, enough damage has been done that certain relationships will no longer be once our parents have passed away.....as i write this, it just seems so unbelievable that i'm writing about my very own family
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In light of their health issues, are your parents capable of writing a will at this point in their lives? . It may be too late for that.

As Pam said, the role of the guardian ends at the person's death. They deal with issues of care and finances while the person is living. It sounds from her answer in the first post that the final resting place will need to be determined by the family.

Sounds like your family may need a third person (if all of you are Roman Catholic) like a Roman Catholic priest or some other third party to work on bringing your family together in family meeting to get this all worked out. Sounds like some folks need to confess their sins of power grabbing and creating division. I'm serious.
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thanks for input
pam: there is no will, talks have been tried before and they go nowhere, would having an independent person be a bad thing though? so do you think the guardian can decide on final resting place somewhere else????
cmagnum: they do not own cemetery plots, they are catholic and wanted a mausoleum so there are only a few in the state that are strictly catholic, guardianship to be determined an upcoming hearing
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Hello Pam this is something I've not thought about. It's Zoolife again, so you know my story. I had there wills but my dad could have changed this. There is only a guardian no executor that I'm aware of, or DPOA unless that guardian has that too! Since I live in a different state from my parents should I survive them, please tell me what will I do at that point, do you know? Thanks for your input Pam as always!
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From your profile, I gather that your parents have not died yet. Do they own cemetery plots? Have they ever made their wishes known about their final resting place? Who is the guardian? Is there a will? Who is the executor?
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Once the person dies, the Guardian is no longer in the picture, POA's become invalid. The WILL kicks in, the Executor takes over and follows the instructions in the Will. The Guardianship hearing will only address the living issues, the finances and care of the LIVE person.
I can guarantee you that without total agreement by you kids, the Judge will definitely appoint an independent, outside, impartial third party that NOBODY will like. So start the truce talks.
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