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I am currently living with and caring for my Aunt. I have been with her since June 2015, moving across country to come and care for her. She has two children, daughter lives here in town and comes over once a week to sort her medication which I refuse to do.


I take care of the house, all meal preparation, scheduling, supervising her personal hygiene, etc. My Aunt has friends and is very active socially. She supposedly has dementia but from everything I've observed and read about dementia, I am beginning to doubt. Her daughter takes her to the doctor and although they've asked me to come, I wouldn't be able to ask the doctor questions alone.


Up until November 2018, I have had an outside part time job to pay my own bills. I have had to quit due to my own health issues. And unless I prepare food and sit it down in front of my aunt, she won't eat. (Yes, she's that lazy.)


I've been living off my own savings for the past few months. We have applied to Medicaid for me to be paid through the State - my cousin has "dropped the ball" on filling out and sending in the paperwork. They've sent us a letter stating we have been denied because the papers weren't filed. (I'm planning to apply again as soon as she gets the forms filled out.)


I reminded her tonight that I need some sort of income. She has given me $350 since December (I'm keeping a log) I'm really starting to feel taken advantage of and I don't like feeling this way.


Furthermore, my aunt lost her own cellphone and I've loaned her an extra one I had. Should I charge her for part of the cellphone bill? Again, her daughter said tonight that she hasn't received her replacement phone yet.


grrrr….


Oh, and my cousin keeps saying the money she gives me is "a gift" but I'm keeping track so I can pay taxes on it if need be. Is that something she needs to do?

I am able to come and go as I please, but they do want me here overnight especially.
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Reply to Homesick
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You need to think about you and your own future especially since you have health problems.  Keep track of the money that your cousin is giving you and file income taxes on that money. Also, you need to find a job outside of your Aunt's house that you can do without negatively affecting your health.
If you DO NOT have an income, you CANNOT qualify for Affordable Care Act Health Insurance via the Marketplace website and can end up paying $1000 - $2000 per month for health insurance with a Co-Pay/Deductible of $6,000+ per year.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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Homesick Feb 16, 2019
Thank you. I am fuming right now. I just came back from my cousin’s house where she was quick to show me a collar she got for her welsh corgi (she has two corgis) which keeps her from barking. Also, she and her husband are planning a trip to Oregon next month.

My other cousin, works for Amazon and flies all over the world for his job. He has money, believe me.

Vent over.
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California
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Reply to Homesick
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What state are you in?
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Reply to tacy022
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You sound like a wonderful person who is definitely being taken advantage of. The family will use you until you decide you have had enough. I think it's time to move on.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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You feel taken advantage of because that is exactly what is happening.

No, room and board is not sufficient pay for a live in caregiver, you should get a caregiver contract and pay your own way in the home. Where I live, it is 15.00 an hour if the employer is paying matching SS and Medicare, providing workers compensation insurance and you get 2 days off weekly, usually 4 to 8 hours through out the week. If they pay you appropriately you can pay a fair amount for rent and buy your own food. Your aunt needs to pay you or her children do.

I hate to sound harsh but they saw you coming. Now is the time to get a contract for caring for your aunt.

I would personally never consider having a niece care for me and not pay her beyond fair, not to mention being truly grateful and showing her my gratitude.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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