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My grandmother has a distant cousin who she has been very close with for many years and who has dementia and is in a care facility. This woman has a daughter who has power of attorney over her and has instructed the facility to not allow her partner of 32 years and my grandmother to see her. Apparently the daughter has some bad feelings towards this woman's partner because she divorced her father for him many years ago. Why she doesn't want my grandmother to see her I have no idea. Unfortunately the woman and her partner were never married, but have been together for 32 years. They have been very close to my grandmother and grandfather for many years. My grandfather passed away recently and the facility told my grandmother not to tell her about it and she hasn't, but would like to visit her. This situation has been very hard on everyone involved except the daughter who has power of attorney and who was never very close with her mother. Any information on what could be done if possible would be kindly appreciated. Thank you.

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Another strategy to consider is the direct one, which is to call the daughter who has the POA and talk it over with her. Nothing much to lose there, and sometimes the direct yet kind approach actually works. That daughter may not know that your grandmother went there and was turned away without being allowed to visit, and that it hurt her feelings and your grandmother would still like to visit.
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As a younger person, and one with presumably better ability to talk to an administrator, I would phone the director of the facility and make this inquiry. The only foundation for restricting visitation is documented episodes of causing agitation in the patient, or of inappropriate behavior such as bringing in drugs or alcohol, etc. Sometimes a daughter might claim that 'these people would upset Mom too much' but for the nursing home to cooperate with only a POA saying that they would have to see some problems themselves as well. If a G/C restricts access, they have to be very careful about that and able to explain to the court why they made that choice about a particular person, and it had better be sound justificaton.
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Thank you for your reply. I agree that this is a terrible thing. My grandmother was told that she was on a list of people that couldn't see her friend. They also have her friends partner on the list and they were both told they had to leave. I just thought that was so wrong. I'm gonna do some research to see if a POA holder has a right to do that. I really hope not. I will pass your replies onto her. Again, thank you.
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I had mom's POA, and she had dementia. She spent a few months in a nursing home. Had there been someone I didn't want my mom to see, be sure that I would have done everything in my power to keep that person away from her...including threatening a lawsuit.

BUT, having said that? The lovely nursing home she was in wasn't designed like a prison. You came in, signed in at the front door and went on your merry way. Frankly, I don't see how they could enforce it.

Just go visit. See if they really stop you. It's one thing for Ms Bossy Pants to tell you that. It's another for the NH to enforce it.

Good luck. Who would EVER want to keep a friendly visitor from their loved one in a NH? Sounds like a real piece of work.
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Yes, she has talked to the facility. They had a list of people who the holder of the POA didn't want to visit. Thank you very much for your response! I'll tell my grandmother to ask if the POA says anything about restricting visitation.
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I would ask if the POA permits the daughter to restrict visitors. Most memory care facilities love for residents to have visitors unless there is agitation resulting. Even family is sometimes asked to stay away because of potential for angerincreased confusion. Have you talked directly to the facility or just through the POA.
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