The oldest son stole money from the brother's business and they bought him out only to close shop the following year but tax problem made IRS take my refund for years. I feel I should be in the will to get an equal part. Am I wrong to feel this way since I have been literally been taking care of her Dr appts, shopping, food, clothes, pharmacy, laundry, bathroom messes to illnesses. It's like she is my mother (who died when I was 12) but she would never acknowledge me as a daughter always corrected anyone who comment no she's my daughter in law. And she is getting meaner to me if that's possible. I just feel if I was able to either get a stipend for being her caregiver from the state or from her will which I know she already said the wives get nothing if husband dies before her. But I have been married to my husband 28 years and lived with him 7 year before that. I am just venting I guess because I can't afford a lawyer on disability. But would like to know if I have any rights.
Waiting for an inheritance is a fool's errand.
Time for Mom to go to an AL if she needs this much help.
and if it upsets you - either stop doing what you are OR get paid for it NOW
But other than that, you have no rights. No claim to her estate. The time to ask for compensation for the care you provide is while you are caring for her. If she’s not willing to pay you & have a care contract drawn up, then walk away.
Depening on your state law, if your husband dies before you, you may be legally entitled to his share of her estate but again it depends on state late and whether or not she’s included him in her will.
Maybe you took this on with all the best of intentions. But many daughters get trapped in this and your brother in laws and husband are the only ones in a position to charge it. Sorry you’re on disability but nothing entities you to what is not in the will. Get over it. Or get out
My MIL made it VERY clear to me that her will states her 3 kids split her estate 3 ways and if my DH passes before she does, I will not get 'a dime'. My 5 kids will inherit DH's 1/3rd.
Now, is this fair? No, but few things in life are. My BIL has been MIA and actually has not seen his mother for a couple of years. He left 45 years ago to pursue his career and schooling and really hasn't been back. He has flat out stated that he hates his mother.
I have done a lot for mine, despite her dislike of me. DH has been her handyman and go-to, but honestly she is such a mean woman, he can't bear to be around her. Here comes Mother's Day and I got her a gift and told him to be sure to call her and get the gift to her. He is going to be out of town over Mother's Day and I am positive he will not see her or call her on the day. So sad.
I cared for my FIL for months and months before he died. What did I inherit? Absolutely nothing. DH did, and of course that became community property, so to speak, but I personally? Nothing.
I'm really sorry for you. why do you continue to care for her? Why doesn't your DH step up and handle this? If you are caregiving for the 'hopes' of an inheritance--bad idea. I no longer speak to my MIL. I simply can't 'do" her any more. She was and is the meanest woman I have ever known and I do not have to put up with her.
Can you walk away from this? Sounds like you owe her absolutely nothing!
When he passed away in our home after caring for him on Hospice those last Very Difficult 9 weeks of his life, the bulk of his remaining estate did go to my husband, but none specifically to me other than my MIL's jewelry, but having been married to this Son for 30 years, of course he does/will share in what he recieved with me, as if the estate were ours jointly. I know my FIL knew this, so I wasn't offended, that is just how Wills are normally written.
You have no rights in how someone disperses their Will and assets when they die, it is their right to choose where their money goes after death, that's just how it goes!
This is a job. If you are not happy with your current situation, work somewhere else.
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