My Dad is getting worse with his mobility and I'm afraid he'll have to go in to a nursing home much sooner than we thought.
We can't take him in our house since we a level up and only have one bedroom.
I was thinking that we had time to "spend down" his bank account before he would go in to a nursing home but it's starting to look like he'll be in a home within a year.
He rents a senior apartment and has no vehicles. His house was sold just over 5 years ago and after he payed the mortgage off he was left with $10,000.
I was wondering since he can buy things for himself to spend down the bank account, could he buy Gold and Silver, not jewelry but bars and coins? It would be something that he could cash out after a few years to buy himself a new power scooter or lift chair or whatever he'll need/want.
Does he have a prepaid cremation/burial account? That would be a good thing to spend down his money on.
Check out a few nursing homes that you might consider when the time comes. What kind of things might he want there, that Medicaid won't cover? Buy those now.
A comfortable wardrobe of durable clothes that can stand up to harsh laundry conditions, long-running subscriptions to his favorite magazines -- try to think ahead of things you could buy now that he will enjoy for years.
Or, how about one last special vacation, before his mobility gets worse?
Once a burial policy and wardrobe and a few other long-term care items are purchased, I'm not sure there would be enough left to warrant a trust fund. But silver and gold will not function as a trust fund.
He won't go on vacation since he can't get around to well and he doesn't want to use the power scooter out in public, has the macho thing going and can't show he's weak to anybody.
Plus here's the big one....He wants his money. He likes being able to buy what he wants/needs when he feels like it. He doesn't want to be left with only a small allowance every month, again the macho thing of I can take care of myself. Don't ask me how I'm going to get him in a nursing home withouta major fight. The only thing I can do is hope he's to weak to try to run away. God I feel like terrible son when I think that.
What kind of trust can I get for him? The wife and I have one set-up for us (watching my Dad go through this has made us do a lot of pre-planning) and the lawyer who did ours didn't think it would work for him, but then again she's not a senior lawyer so she probably not the person to ask.
It is kind an loving of you to try to arrange things to help your father cope better about his money. I hope an Elder Law attorney can suggest something.
It is sad how many older people (and younger ones too) make things harder for themselves by their attitudes. A neighbor paying a condolence call laughed about seeing my husband zipping around the neighborhood on his power scooter. My husband grieved not being able to drive his beloved sports car, but he did what he could as long as he could with what he had. It isn't macho sitting home and moping or grumbling.
Good luck. And don't be hard on yourself for "terrible" thoughts. It is actions that count and you are doing your best.