My father in law is 80, lives alone, a mile from my husband and I. My sister in law lives 185 miles away. Shes insist on being the emergency number, the person the doctor calls etc.. She'll come up and stay and week at a time then go home. But, she gets upset about having to stay and wants him to move down there with her. He won't. When she is here, she "babies" him. Makes his food, brings it to him, gets his RX, tucks his dishtowel under his chin etc.. stuff his wife used to do for him. He still drives very well, goes to town, mows the lawn all that. He recently had a minor heart attack, and now she is freaking out. It's like she thinks she is the only one that can take care of her. We go over there everyday, we live a mile away. I take food to him, I get his meds ready if he needs it. But, I think he depends on her to much. He wouldn't go get his bld checked where he should, until he talked to her, because he didn't believe us, that it was the right place. She writes everything down the doctor says, but won't confront the doctor with questions (I do that) I feel like saying "Ok, you want complete control, I'm out" I just don't think it's good for him, that she is doing everything for him. Or am I wrong? He loves it, but he was used to his wife doing it for so many years until 3 years ago, when he lost her. He is lonely, but I want to take him to the Senior center, or where all the older men met for breakfast. I've mentioned it her, she just says yeah, that's a good idea. Worse is, she is a nervous wreak. What to do? Stay out of? Husband is no help, he stays out of it!