Mom does not have much control when getting up and down with her bladder. She sits for long periods watching tv - falling asleep for hours at a time. When she does get up -- there are times that the throw away pads and the washable pads are wet or soaked. The wheelchair pad is another problem as well. I cannot keep it clean. Who can help figure out how to help her? Again the urogynocologist recommended Gemtesa - and that pill does not seem to be doing anything. I cannot breathe when I go to her house to visit - until I take the soiled clothes basket out to the garage and throw away the soiled pads that are in the garbage and take out the bags of used assurance underwear. She is 85 and wants to sit and watch tv and sleep a lot.
Your mom is being stubborn and you can’t fix that. If she wants to stay independent, she’ll need to make some changes. Otherwise, you’ll need to get her to pay for daily caregivers to get her on a toileting schedule and clean laundry and messed. You insist that she wants to age in place, but we don’t always get what we want. Especially with cognitive decline.
Your Mom needs to try and go on the toilet every two hours. She needs to drink water. When she is checked for a UTI you need to have a culture done to see what bacteria is causing the problem so the correct antibiotic is used. If bad she needs IV in the hospital. To keep her UTI free, D Mannose has been recommended here. My Mom was on cranberry tablets and a probiotic to keep hers from coming back.
Usually, UTIs in the elderly show no signs other than they can have Dementia like symtoms. So Mom having pain is unusual. Part of her continence problem maybe the UTIs. I would ask her doctor about the pain. There maybe something else going on.
Most if not all incontinence medications really don't help at all. You can talk to your moms urologist about having a supra pubic catheter(permanent catheter) placed too. That way she or someone will only have to empty her catheter bag about twice a day.
There are no easy answers here but incontinence is often the straw that breaks the camels back and ends up having a loved one placed in the appropriate facility.
- She needs to be in adult briefs (diapers).
- Hire an aide to come in and change her diapers, and dispose of them outside, as well as washing soiled clothing.
- Buy washable as well as disposable underpads. When you say you can't keep the wheelchair pad clean, is that a seat cushion ? Make sure there's a clean disposable pad on the wheelchair at all times.
- I double up on the pads. Moisture still seeps through, so I place one on top of another.
- She needs to be moved more often and cleaned and have a diaper change several times a day. Sitting for long periods in the same position, and in wetness will start to break down her skin, if it hasn't already. Have you seen her behind?
If hiring someone to come to the home is out of the question, then it would be a good time for your mother to be transferred to a skilled nursing facility. The incontinence care Must be managed properly by someone!