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This is this is just a little off topic but I am caring for someone with Alzheimer's and memory matters in Hilton Head and the doctors I believe have told me that once a patient has diagnosis of Alzheimer's whether you are paying the insurance or not if there is an accident she has no insurance please check that out.
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blueberrybelle Jan 2020
CORRECT. It's like driving drunk. The insurance company can claim negligence on the part of the insured and deny coverage.

Of course, if the fault is on the other driver, an attorney is wise to protect one's rights.
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I wish the bank had been on top of my mom's account. Little brother was tearing checks from the back of her checkbook and writing them to himself!
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This is why it's so important to not just have healthcare and financial POA documents drawn up early (and reviewed at least once per year), but to have them written very carefully to avoid issues later on. For example, my mom was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer and AD in 2015. She knew her prognosis wasn't great, and she wanted to gift my brother and I money each year while she could still get joy out of doing so (i.e., remember) . She changed her financial dPOA to explicitly state that $X was to be gifted in equal amounts to my brother and myself each year and $Y was to be gifted to her church. We've never had any issues, but I must say, the bank did require my mom to be there in person to deliver the updated dPOA.
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I don't understand how, after your grandmother talked to the bank, they are still not satisfied and I also don't understand how the "bank" got involved and got the POA revoked. That seems really above and beyond what is normal. Yes, they have some fiduciary responsibility but I don't know how far they can go with that without a family member making an accusation. But involving themselves in getting your grandmother ti revoke the POA? Something seems really off here. Who is the POA now? If she has dementia, maybe she is not competent to even revoke the POA. But if she did, now what? Is guardianship needed?

You need to talk with an attorney.
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katiekat2009 Jan 2020
Maybe revoking POA is coming from the district attorney's office as they would be the ones to prosecute.
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You really have no business using your vulnerable granny's money for your legal messes anyway - now you have another rather serious legal mess.
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A POA presumes (expects) fiduciary responsibility over bank accounts. Your grandmother's bank account SHOULD NOT be used to get you out of a financial jam, regardless of your intention to "pay her back". Period.

Word of warning: if your grandmother stays alive long enough to need long-term care and she will need assistance to pay for it -- meaning Medicaid, before she is given that assistance, Medicaid will demand to see every transaction that has occurred in her bank account over an EXTENDED amount -- they could go back 5 years. It can be an ugly audit of accounts and your grandmother could be denied assistance for these financial "gifts" (mishaps?).

The best you and your mother can do for your grandmother is to not touch her bank accounts and don't ask for money from her. It's harsh, I know, but that is truly the best action to take at this point.
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jacobsonbob Jan 2020
What if the grandmother's account is paid back in full during that 5-year period? Would this essentially "cancel" the original transaction in the eyes of the Medicaid people?
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You definitely need a lawyer. I am POA for my parents and helping them with their finances is one of the areas I feel most uncomfortable with. My Dad has a movement disorder and it has progressed to the point that he can no longer write checks. My mother’s hands are severely disformed and she can’t write either. I pay all their bills, deposit all their checks. I purchase all their supplies etc. I have had one check written out to me for $47.00 for items I purchased with my own credit card. Not only do I have a fiduciary duty to my parents, the bank does as well. They are the protectors of your Grandmothers bank account and so is your Mother. The bank can and should investigate any large amounts of money paid out that looks suspicious
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In AZ, I had dpoa for financial aid health. APS investaged me and my mother for 9 months, which included a monthly visit because my brother contacted them accusing me of financial abuse out of pure spite. I was finally cleared and case closed. As 24/7 caregiver alone the additional stress was huge and unforgivable.
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If your grandmother is still driving, she couldn’t be too bad. If I was her, I would change banks. Banks are going too far now. I tried wiring my granddaughter money and they made me come down and show my ID even though they called me on the phone and I have a mortgage through them.
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I don’t see how they could do anything unless your grandmother is telling them you and your mother stole the money.
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kdcm1011 Jan 2020
Actually, if the bank sees activity as suspicious, they can step in and question it. When my FIL passed away, my MIL went into the bank with my husband and his sister to close out accounts & open new ones. My SIL insisted she have access to those accounts even though she doesn’t have any POA. Red flags must have been raised to the bank manager who suggested & prevailed that my husband, who is named in the POA documents, have it as well. My husband reluctantly agreed and made it clear (1) MIL was of sound mind and (2) MIL was living with both his sisters now, so they would know better her needs.

Two months later the bank manager calls my husband. MIL had applied on-line for a HELOC & she was concerned. Hubby was concerned as well but legally couldn’t do anything, plus his mother hadn’t said a word to him about it. He knew deep down what his sisters were trying to do. Bank manager insisted MIL come in alone or with my husband and/or lawyer to discuss the loan application. She made it very clear to MIL those were the only ones who could be present. I guess they go thru this enough. MIL went alone and made a huge scene that it’s her money, blah blah blah. Bank manager calmed her down by saying they would submit the application but weren’t sure if it would be approved, as she didn’t have the income to pay it but they would try. Loan was denied. Bank manager kept my husband up to date throughout the whole process, MIL hasn’t said a word & that was 2 years ago.

Hubby has never looked at the accounts he has access to; heck, he doesn’t even look at our accounts. 😒
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Mom cannot do as she pleases with grandma's bank account, including lending money. As POA the only responsibility mom has is to do what is for grandma's benefit and in her best interest. Best file for that tax refund soon.
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Talk is cheap. You need to document in writing, with an attorney is best. Anything short of that may end up in a bad outcome for you.
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Get a good lawyer ASAP if you want to prevent the state from taking guardianship of Grandma. If that happens you and your Mom could effectively be cut out of Grandma's life which I'd imagine would be horrible for all involved. As far as being prosecuted for crimes, that is highly unlikely unless there is much more than what you are telling us, but what the state will do is take complete control of Grandma and her assets and cut you and Mom out of her life possibly.
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You need to have dPOA-Durable Power of Attorney or Financial POA. Healthcare POA is for when she becomes unable to speak on her own behalf due to health reason. Banks don't budge unless you have Financial Power of Attorney.
Getting that now would look suspicious, so Grandma needs to go into her bank and at least sign the banks paperwork that allows you access to her account and then-you can only do limited things.
I attend to my Mom's financial things but at her bequest and I have gotten to know most of the people at her bank quite well but there are still some legal documents that need her attention that only she can do, and this is because she refuses to give me DPOA.
Good luck.
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rovana Jan 2020
Great advice here. The formal legal arrangements do matter. It is risky doing things on a casual "family understands" basis.
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If you have nothing regarding this “loan” in writing and signed by you and Grandma, this will not go well for you. I’d be thinking about getting a lawyer.
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The bank is looking out for your grandmother, and good for them! It may seem harsh and unforgiving, but the bank has to err on the side of caution to protect their clients. If, as POA, you withdrew money for yourself, even if you intend to pay it back, then I'm afraid the bank is perfectly justified in questioning the withdrawal. If your grandmother is still mentally competent (in the eyes of the bank), then she just needs to let the bank know that whatever withdrawal you made was legitimate and authorized by her.
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Concernedcake Jan 2020
She did tell them that. She told them she lent me the money and that my mother who has POA can do whatever she wants with the bank account but they are not listening
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Yes they can get the law involved even if your grandmother is not cooperative.
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Concernedcake Jan 2020
Shes talked to them and told them she loaned me the money and that my mother who has POA has her permission to do whatever she wants with the bank account. They just won't listen to her
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