This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Taken from LegalZoom website;
"A standard power of attorney does not authorize the agent to restrict access to a parent. Generally, it authorizes the agent to buy and sell property, handle bank transactions, file tax returns, manage government benefits and settle legal claims. A limited power of attorney spells out which specific transactions or decisions the agent may make. For example, an elderly parent may authorize an adult child to perform all legal and financial tasks on his behalf or may give him limited powers such as paying bills from a particular checking account.
The principal must be legally competent to execute the document at the time of signing. If the document grants 'unusual' powers to the agent such as limiting access to the parent by siblings or others, consider whether your parent understood what he was signing. If you suspect that he is physically or mentally unable to handle his affairs or to understand what he was signing, the power of attorney is probably invalid and your parent may need a guardian to look out for his interests. Depending on the manner in which the power of attorney was drafted, your sibling may not yet have the authority to take action on your parent's behalf, or that authority might have been terminated if your parent is now incapacitated. Typically, a Power of Attorney (POA) may be revoked at any time the principal wishes, and it automatically terminates when the principal becomes legally incapacitated or dies. A Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) , on the other hand, remains in effect after the person becomes incapacitated. A third type, known as a Springing Power of Attorney (SPOA), goes into effect when the person becomes incapacitated but not before."

I hope this bit of info helps. You would need to know what type of poa the person has. Ask to see the document. Most probably it does not have a clause that you are forbidden to take her from a facility for a visit.

That said, if your mother is in a facility, she has a need for the services. Does she have dementia or is it just assisted living?
If your mom is of sound mind, (your post doesn't mention her condition), then ask her if she'd like to go out to eat.

If she has dementia, DEPENDING on how far advanced it is, it usually doesn't go well to take them out especially in the later stages. It's a lovely idea and I'm sure you think she'd enjoy a break from being in the facility all the time. But, demented seniors have a hard to very hard time adapting to different environments. The car would be the first obstacle, as movement can trigger fear. The people accomanying you may overwhelm her. The noisy restaurant may be too loud and too much action for her to process. The menu was always a source of panic for my mom because she could no longer read and the pictures of the food didn't make sense. I would just suggest something I knew she liked and she would agree. I could see her anxiety. They are so busy trying to process the "new" world around them that they really aren't enjoying their surroundings and wind up not eating much, if anything. Often they ask when can they go back home! Your idea is lovely but, if your mom has dementia, I agree with the posters above. Bring in some food and set it up in a special area where you are alone and can talk and enjoy your meal. It doesn't have to be fancy, McMuffin, or croissants or bagels. etc.

Ask others (family member) at the facility what happened when they took their loved ones out to eat.

Also, are you prepared for an "accident" (incontinent) at the restaurant or in your car? Or spilling food while eating? Or handling a psychological "meltdown"? These are all things to think about depending on her level of dementia. Our suggestions are from our own experiences. We're not trying to "rain on your parade". Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)

Mannye, I think the message is that it isn't a question of whether the POA has the legal right to stop you from taking your mother out, or, more to the point, the legal right to prevent your mother from leaving the site. The thing to ask yourself is whether or not it is a good idea to do this from the point of view of your mother's overall welfare.

What's the objection? If the objection is that your mother becomes unsettled and agitated for the rest of the day; or that your mother is not settling in to communal living and making friends; or that she's eating foods that upset her stomach, for example; then take the points on board and think again.

If the objection is something more like that she's paid for breakfast at the facility and therefore there is a slight waste of money if you take her out for eggs sunny side up, though, then that might be a bit different. Would you like to say a little more about the background?
Helpful Answer (3)

Medical POA? Maybe.

What reason are you given for this restriction? It might be in your mother's best interest. (Or the POA might just be on a power trip. We sure don't know.)

How about bringing breakfast in to her, if she likes certain fast food breakfast items, or pastries from a special bakery, etc. Also bring a pretty table cloth and a small vase of flowers. Community space ought to be pretty available then, with everyone at breakfast. Have a special breakfast for two. Even if you set up a pretty table and just have what the facility is serving it can be a nice break from routine for your mother (without being such a big break it would be stressful).
Helpful Answer (4)

We found it unwise to take mom out of her NH. She became confused and agitated in a car. She attempted to grab the steering wheel from my husband. Instead, we brought treats and parties to mom.
Helpful Answer (4)

Just the POA alone does not have the power....unless, it is also the Medical POA.

The facility would have this document on file and have the knowledge if that is the case.

Often, the facility finds that a visit with people causes a lot of confusion and agitation... it could be that your Mom has way too much trouble after such visits and it is not in her best interest.

Learn more about what power the POA actually has, and the reasons behind it
Helpful Answer (3)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter