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Myself and lady companion want to get married and stay in the same room. Has this been allowed before? Is there any law that would prohibit such action? I need some input on these questions.

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My main concern would be the financial end. When a woman becomes a widow (this is the short version), she loses her SS (if she made less) and takes on her husbands. If her husband had a pension remarrying may revolk it. If she is on Medicaid, both are used to offset her cost for care.

I know people who decide not to marry after a certain age because they will lose money doing so.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Yes, but there are a couple of things to check first. Does your state allow Marriage Celebrants to operate outside of particular premises? The answer used to be no but is now usually yes! Are you both legally competent to make the decision? It's probably a good idea to get that agreed by a doctor or lawyer. Will the nursing home allow you to share a room? Some do, some don't.

Very importantly, have you sorted out the finances involved? When you get married, in many if not most jurisdictions it invalidates all former wills, and you will both be intestate until you each make another will. When you are intestate, again in many if not most places, on death half your estate goes to your spouse and the other half is divided between your own children. Is this what each of you want? If not, you each need to work out how you want to leave your assets, and arrange for new wills to be made immediately after the wedding ceremony (you can also do it just before 'in contemplation of marriage', but you should definitely get this drawn up by a lawyer).

Have you talked it through with your families, and in particular with your children? They are much more likely to enjoy seeing you happy if it doesn't turn all their inheritance expectations upside down. You can make new wills that leave nothing to each other, so that the marriage doesn't affect the finances, and that will probably make everything a lot easier - but you definitely need a lawyer to get this right. Another option may be to have a special ceremony that doesn't constitute a legal marriage, just a personal commitment to each other. You can still refer to each other as husband and wife, have as many 'trimmings' as you like, and be just as happy with each other. The 'legal' side of modern marriages is actually quite new - in the past the marriage was valid in the eyes of God and the state when man and wife accepted each other formally in front of witnesses. It did not even need to take place in a Church, and usually happened in the 'lych gate' leading into the churchyard.

And lastly, if you opt for a legal marriage, are you quite sure what effect that will have on any pensions or benefits either of you have as single people. You need to understand all the implications just in case your incomes will be affected. There will be quite a lot of paperwork involved, so you also need to make sure that someone is going to follow through with all the notifications.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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anonymous866059 Dec 11, 2018
Sound and perfect advice.....
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Congratulations! I hope this will work out very happily for both of you.

On the face of it, there is no reason why living in a Nursing Home would make any difference to your right to marry whom you please.

But the people who are responsible for running the home, and for looking after you and your lady companion, are BOUND to be concerned to check that you are, both of you, taking this important step "soberly, advisedly and in the fear of God" as the marriage service puts it. You must both be of sound mind, able to enter into the marriage contract, and doing so of your own completely free will.

So if you do face a lot of annoying questions from people you'd quite like to tell to mind their own business... bear with them. It is your and your lady's welfare they have at heart.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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That is lovely. I am so glad for you that you find a nice lady companion. Love can happen at any age.

I don't think there are laws that prohibit you from getting married to her, provided the lady companion is competent and of her own person meaning no one has obtained conservatorship over her.

However, I would think it may have financial complications if one of both of you have assets that could affect the other in term of qualification for any medical and financial assistance from the government. If you have existing wills or trusts, etc., those may be affected by the new marriage. I would check with an attorney if I were you.
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Reply to polarbear
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I believe that if you are both of sound mind, you have every legal right to get married. And I have known of several couples who have met in a nursing home and married. It is not unheard of.
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Reply to smeshque
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My mom and another resident chose to live together. He had no immediate family except for adopted children who were on government services for disabilities. As they both got older with memory issues, he got scammed and took my mom down a few thousand until I got wind of it. He refused to believe he was being scammed until the day he died. My resentment was not the co habitation but I ended up having to kind of take care of 2 people and I had to be agressive with the finances. He became broke and she had to subsidize his housing. He paid into her rent by paying from his Social Security check without leaving him broke while they resided in assisted living. While they were mentally diminished they both took care of each other in thier own way. Once he passed, I had to immediately move her into assisted living. If they continued getting worse, there were going to be some hard choices of separation if he had to apply for Medicaid. We were lucky but not without the extra stress about worrying about 2 people.
You may want to speak to any family. The part you do not see is the Social Security, wills, and if the family is willing to take on the other person's care with a marriage.

I asked that question to assisted living since there were a few larger apartments in my mom"s place. Yes there were people sharing an apartment but there was no reduction in costs. Even if one person was capable and competent, the living arrangements included meals and housekeeping.
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Reply to MACinCT
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If neither of you has been declared incompetent then you can get married.
However...you might want to think about Social Security payments that may be reduce for either one of you or both of you. Same if either of you are beneficiaries from a pension, that may also be reduced or eliminated.
And if you go ahead with your plans...Congratulations...and if you decide not to get married congratulations on finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and enjoy each other.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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If you are both legally competent you can do anything any other adult can do. Your residence is not an issue. A friend of mine recently married a woman in a nursing home. He lived in his own rented room. He had social security only so no one was going to come after him to pay for her nursing home. The nursing home was giving them a hard time by refusing at first to acknowledge that he is now her husband. She died after just a few months, so I don't know how that would have played out. There are financial considerations when anyone gets married and other people have given answers that address those. If there is money involved see a lawyer.
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Reply to Toadhall
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