I am, like many of us, at times overwhelmed with caring for Mom. Recently, I have felt that it is time for Mom to be in a NH (as from my previous post).
I am the youngest of 5, and am the main care giver. Three of my siblings can see how hard it can be, and are in agreement with me. My older brother (who lives with Mom and has the most health issues —heart disease, pulmonary fibrosis, and leukemia...) is not in agreement and wants to give me money to hire a caregiver so that Mom can stay home. (He is in denial that he may need the money for his own care....) What do we do when we run out of money??
I did tell him that if he passes before Mom, she will have to go to a NH. While, he has said that he didn’t expect to live until September that past two years, he now says that he “thinks he is going to be okay.” Of course he cannot walk 20 feet w/o oxygen, and he certainly cannot handle Mom...
Mom does not have a medical POA. So, as I understand it (as it was with the hospice care), we all have to agree before we can put Mom in a home. Or should it be he oldest who makes the decision??
Yesterday, my SIL told ME that I should go to Mom’s doctor because he can tell us that Mom needs to be in a NH (thinking that my oldest brother would listen to him).
I recently had Mom to that doctor to have paperwork filled out for the VA. At that time, he said that the person is better off in their own home, but they worry about caregiver burnout.
I understand the doctor can certify a patient’s incompetence, but it seems to me, that unless the person is a ward of the state, the family (collectively) would be the ones to determine if the loved one should be in a NH for long term care, not a GP. Am I right?