My dad was put into a nursing home by his son who is the POA. After my dad told us what he was willing to us, my dad was sent to a nursing home against his will. His son took all of checkbooks, wallet and fire arms out of his house while in the nursing facility. His son put him in there and went out of town for 2 weeks. I know that his son only wants to have total control of my dad's money. What can i do?

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This is what you typed in your profile about your father. "I am caring for my father, living in a nursing home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, arthritis, diabetes, hearing loss, and vision problems." What part of this is not true?
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Your profile says that Dad has Dementia. He can no longer make informed decisions. Looks like he has a number of health problems. Was the POA his main caregiver? If so, he may have gotten burned out. You Dad has a lot to deal with.

The POA now comes into effect. The son now is responsible for seeing that bills are being paid. So, yes, he needs Dads check book and IDs. There is no reason for Dad to have them at the home to be stolen. And yes, the firearms should be removed from a house not being lived it and put someplace secure. Don't be surprised if POA sells the house. The money will need to be used for Dads care.

If POA was main caregiver, he probably needed a break away.
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anonymous829449 Jul 2018
He does not have dementia. Since being in nursing home he has become more foggy and depressed and irritated. He and I do not understand why he is here, and his son is not communicating with me. His son wants to be in control and have the final say. I just want my dad to be happy and healthy and safe as long as he can. If his son is making decisions while my dad is coherent, what will he do when he is unable to voice for himself?
kittyboo, could you tell us what are your Dad's medical conditions. Does he have memory issues, falls issues, etc?

As for your Dad saying his son put him into a nursing home then went out of town for 2 weeks..... please note it is common when placing an elder into a nursing home to stay away for 2 weeks. That gives the elder a chance to learn his/her way around the facility and to bond with the Staff.

Chances are you brother used what is called a "theraputic fib" for the reason he wasn't visiting Dad for those two weeks.

As cmagnum had mentioned in his posting, a nursing home just doesn't take anyone because a relative wants his/her to be in a nursing home. The nursing home needs to make an assessment of Dad's health conditions to make sure he really needs to be in a nursing home. Apparently your Dad needs that higher level of skilled care.

As to what your Dad had told you what he is willing to you, if his care [at home or at a nursing home] don't be surprised if the assets are eaten up due to cost. My Dad was paying $20k per month for at-home caregivers around the clock. My Mom was paying $12k for long-term-care. Then my Dad moved to Assisted Living which was the less expensive then living at home hiring caregiveres.

By chance, who was caring for Dad when he was living at home? You? Your brother? or another relative?
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anonymous829449 Jul 2018
He has ckd, diabetes, glaucoma, and walks with a cane. No serious illness.
He has a equilibrium imbalance. He has tripped but caught himself. No falls.
His son did not "fib". Before my dad was transferred from the hospital to the nursing home, his son and wife flew out of town qith my dad's keys, credit cards, id, and checkbooks. I was only in possession of the small amount of cash my dad had given to me and his cell phone. That was not asked for. Only concern for his money.
His son has told the social worker negative things about me, and does not tell me what's going on with him.
Granted, i am a lot younger than my dad's sons, he is my parent as well, and have rights.
His son can't sell his house as he is renting from a friend.
Has your dad been declared incompetent? If so, then the Durable POA can take control of the credit cards and check books.

How was your dad sent to the nursing home against his will. Normally, a doctor has to give an order for such and nursing homes just don't take someone because a family member wants to put them there.

Is your brother also his Medical POA?

I find it interesting that your refer to your brother as your dad's son. Why?

There must be some more pieces to this story.
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