As you all know, I am primary caregiver to my 93 year old mother. This passed weekend I got a break and visited my daughter and her family for 3 days. My mother stayed at my sister's house for those 3 days. When I came back from my weekend, my sister brought her home and told me that for those 3 days she was walking without her walker, loading the dishwasher, helping her cook etc.. When my sister left, my mother went back to "normal" She was confused, weepy, totally forgot that she had spent time at my sister's and was exhausted. The next day, she was still tired and confused. My question is could it be possible that while at my sister's she was "showtimeing" all that time and when she returned home to her normal environment, she felt no need to do that anymore?? And if she was "showtimeing" all that time, could that be the reason she was so exhausted when she got home????

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I suppose it's possible. I know that my LO's abilities fluctuate. I mean, there is no other explanation. Of course, I'm a skeptical person and I don't believe a lot of what others tell me, unless it can be confirmed. Maybe, her sister was trying to make you feel better by exaggerating your mom's activities over their visit. Oh, I wouldn't be happy about mom walking without a walker. That's risky and she could fall.

Oh, and since her sister says she does so well there, why not take her there for more regular visits.  You could use the respite time.  And if mom is very happy with it, all the better. 
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I've noticed that my mother rises to the occasion when we have company. People tell us we don't give her enough credit, that she's really quite "with it." That's easy to say when you aren't with her for extended periods. My sister would visit my mother for the weekend when Mom was still in her own home. She rarely saw what I saw when I visited because she kept Mom totally occupied. When I visited for a week, I saw much more decline and forgetfulness. We should have addressed Mom's dementia years before we were finally forced to take action.
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Thank you for your answers. I have seen my mother "showtime" quite often. She could be confused and arguing with me all afternoon, but as soon as my sister shows up, she is totally lucid, which makes me look like a liar. I was just wondering if she could pull it off for 3 days.
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Somehow three days seems pretty long for a showtiming episode. But perhaps she did it in shorter bursts. She loaded the dishwasher while showtiming, then sat in front of the television for a couple of hours and recovered. Your sister just noticed the "normal" behavior.

Even without the showtiming, visiting a different environment can wear out someone who has dementia. And showtiming is definitely exhausting.
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