How many calories should an 80 yr. old woman eat to mantain her weight?

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My mother is losing weight. She claims she is eating and even puts on a show to make me think she is but the scales tell a different story. She is starting to look frail. She is still fairly independent but am not with her 24/7 to watch.

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I know this is frustrating. My mom is 85 lbs, frail, and has Alzheimers. She thinks she is on a diet and only eats low cal. I bring her all her favorite foods and she just picks. Unless sis and I take her to a fancy restaurant, she won't eat much.
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I appreciate your response. Her doctors don't seem to be concerned about her eating habits. I mention them frequently but they say, "Your mom is a healthy weight for her age. Older people don't eat much." Unfortunately, if you research the ADHD you will find one of the characteristics of it is that the person lies for no reason (pathological lying). For example, several times I made her a home made pot pie, and delivered it all cooked and ready to eat at 5PM, for her and my dad to eat. He is 85. She calls me up, "We ate every bit of it. It was delicious." I go over there to check on something and there it is in the refrigerator with a tiny little scoop (and I do mean tiny) taken out of the side of it. Last night she wanted tacos. I made some, took them over and when we talked on the phone, same thing. "We ate it all." Well, she ate a few bites of the filling, that was it. It is very frustrating. I told my husband that she'll end up dying of malnutrition. I get both of them Boost to drink, but I can't force them to do anything. My dad has poor eating habits, too, but my mom's are the worst.
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Gemgarden, I suppose true anorexia can strike at any age, and if someone has suffered with it before just getting old is not a cure. I doubt she thinks not eating is a funny game, although she may thing it is funny to "fool" you into thinking she has eaten. Does her doctor know about this? Is she seeing a psychiatrist? Unhealthy relationships with food such as anorexia can be incredibly hard to overcome, even younger people without cognitive decline are out there starving themselves to death.
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No, no dementia yet. My mom has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which she has had all her life. Try reasoning with a person that has these two dysfunctions...you can't.
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There's certainly no reasoning with a person with dementia? Has your mom been assessed for that?

What seems reasonable and obvious to us is not obvious any longer to a person with no ability to solve problems. Talk to her doctor.
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My mom is 81 and eats the smallest amounts of food you can imagine. She plays with her food on her plate, moving it all around, pretending like she is eating. She thinks it is funny, a game to her. My grandmother was anorexic at 85 years old and is gone now. I really feel my mom wants the title as "the oldest anorexic on file". My mom lives on pills, honestly, she takes so many supplements and pills it is unreal. She feels these supplements are better than food--there is no reasoning with her. She takes about 30 pills in the morning and 30 at night. No wonder she is not hungry. Plus she is on pain meds for her spine and the Tramadol kills her appetite. She constantly complains her legs are so weak that they won't hold her up--well, is it any wonder? I keep telling her she needs fuel to make her body work--she just ignores this advice and every time she gets thinner she just has her clothing taken in for her smaller size. She enjoys being thin, I think, because in her 50's she was about 200 pounds, which she hated. There is no reasoning with an elderly person, I have found out. They do what they want.
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Ooops, there I go posting to someone who is not there in2013! Fooled again.

Others will recommend any new questions be posted on a new thread, worded for your specific issue. That way, responses will be for you.
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Carolynn, thank you for that diet outline! I agree with everything you said for a good well-rounded diet (to gain/keep weight on). Have tried to follow the no white foods plan. I believe the scientists who have recommended that plan have saved many from diabetes. I forgot the pharmacist's name who recommended it, and do not know who came up with it first. Growing up, my siblings and I had fun rolling up the soft white bread (it was wonderful) and eating it after we played with it. Maybe it is still stuck somewhere inside to this day. Joke, ha ha.
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Gershen, my friends, some of them are in the nursing profession, have been talking about this weight for many years now. They call it "your fighting weight".
If someone gets cancer, they won't be debilitated by excessive weight loss and may have the weight and nutritional strength to fight any disease.
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I am 86 yrs. and easily gain weight, the 10 lbs. per yr. applied to the gain for some 7yrs. (weight was 130-140) now I have to watch fats, sugar,etc. I have kept weight at less than 190 for eight yrs. How much daily protein do I need?
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