How can I calm myself down when I am in the midst of taking care of my dad?

I pray more for strengh and patience morethan anything. I am a full time caregiver to my parents mostly my dad who broke his hip almost 4 years ago. 24/7 I am totaly burn out because my dad will not excerise to get stronger on his own I have to make him kick his legs before he gets up to really be able to stand and walk and sometimes that starts a fight. He is getting weaker and that is stressful. My mom is doing pretty good but also is getting weaker and a little more forgetful and the stress I live close and spend all my time just going back and forth. I spend the nights with them matter of fact I only get to go home a few hours a day off and on and I take a nap in the chair. My husband is being as supportive as he can be really more than usual as he has never been real supportive of me. I have one daughter who now has 3 kids but she is really no help my brother lives a few states away and comes in to give me a break every 6 months or so but he can't stand to do this 2 weeks. I have to be his backup. I have resendment but also at the same time I am glad I could do it. My parents would not make it in a nurseing home they would not last.Just seems like I am the servent to so many. I know we allow this to happen to ourselves but I really don't know when it is over if I will ever connect people again. I try to eat right and take care of myself as much as I can but I miss cleaning up most of all. this has been a strain on my mind body money and self . Even I am serving so many I still don't fell bad about myself I just feel that somewhere I made a wrong turn. I really don't know if I will ever smile again. When I look at the big picture the only way this will end is either my parents die or I put them both in the nurseing home. I am sort of jelious of people who have a supportive family. My cousins and I aren't close, I have thought that maybe it is me but I am a good person who many just decied to not seem to want. I don't have pity parties I am just writing what I see. I do have a garden in the summer and a few chickens at my house as I am trying to get more back to the earth. I live in the woods and watch the sky and the animals every day. I always did this but now I am really getting in tune with it as I can't go anywhere. I enjoy the internet and meeting many different so I know this chaper in my life is a very hard one I am learning everyday and if I make it out alive I will be a totally different person weither it be for better or worse. I will be lost after this is over for I do love my parents very much but they really don't relize what I am giving up to do this. Wishing everyone a very Good day and a Blessed Merry Christmas Season

Somedays I think I am going to go crazy I am so stressed with this 24/7 job of my parents. my dad has been selfcentered and very demanding. My mother hounds me to do every little thing he wants. He broke his hip almost 4 years ago and I am totally a servent to him.I guess I just need to vent.I try looking at the clouds and raising a garden and everything else but this is getting to me to have the whole load on my shoulders. ask me what I want for Christmas I want nothing. I want and need help but no one is going to do that. I would be OK just going home for a few hours and sitting by myself. I loss my patience this is the part I hate the most but I can't even leave town because of my dad's needs this is someone who would not do it for anyone else.

Quakerite, you are spot on. Things don't have to be perfect, just manageable. I care for my 86-year-old father-in-law alone (my husband doesn't participate I think because it is too emotional). The one thing that I am thankful for each and every day is that my F-I-L may have dementia, but he is kind and loving and responds well to a hug and my telling him that I love him. Knowing that he is with family instead of strangers is all the reward.

Yes, I know what you mean about feeling guilty for not being strong enough. Very well put! I have also had that light-headed feeling you talked about....I call it "weightless".....I think it has to do with anxiety. We need to find ways to nurture ourselves....that is what my counselor told me. Make a list of all the things that nurture you and then do what you can to make a couple of them happen. You painted a great image there.....laundry, ketchup bottle, lightbulb! (-: Hang in there!