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Hi. Im new to this site. Been doing alot of research and I have questions. Here is my story. My mom who is 71 had a stroke in August 2016. She was in the hospital for 3 days. They told me she would have to go a nursing facility. She went to a nursing home August 22 for therapy Being her only child and POA I had to find her paperwork for her to apply for Medicaid. Thinking it was only going to short term I tried cleaning up her house. While in the nursing home she had congestive heart failure however they were quick in helping her.
It is now January and even though she is alert and walking and talking she still needs care. She cant go back to the house because her water tank leaked and it costs to much to fix. Plus against my persistence she did a reverse mortgage in 2010 and all the money is gone. I dont know what to do. The nursing home says I have to notify her bills that she can no longer pay and she will be on Medicaid. I talked to the reverse mortgage and asked a general question how long do I have once I notify them that she can no longer live there. They said 120 days. I work full time and I am on a fixed income. Very hard to get out to her house in the winter. Once I notify them I have to scramble plus its hard to do anything once I notify her utilites bills and they shut off her gas and electric and garbage pick up. I rely on those things to clean up the house. The basement is jammed with boxes and I dont what to do about that.
So what should I do plus should I call or write to her bills she can no longer pay. Another question she has life insurance but I was told I would have to cash that out. How do I do that?? Currently I am receiving help from the dept of aging. My mom may qualify for home aide however its not 24/7 care. I told them she can no longer live in the house. She is on waiting lists that require months to a year. Also attemptex to apply for home weatherization however that's a 2-3 year period just to get an application. Im hitting constant roadblocks. My mom's only income is social security had 183.00 a month pension from my late father. So thats my story. Very sad now. Help.

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I don't have facts about the State of PA but in NYS when someone enters a NH on Medicaid they usually take everything. Your best bet in case this happens is to remove anything you wish to keep immediately and let medicaid and the reverse co mortgage holder worry about the rest. Once the house is repossessed they will probably just put a padlock on the door and you will be denied access anyway.
if the water tank is leaking I assume the water is already turned off. Whoever takes over the house they will simply winterize it. So go ahead and tell the utility companies mom is in a nursing home on medicaid and can't pay any bills. They will probably just be written off. You are not responsible for your mothers debts unless the bills were in your name too so stop worrying about that. There is nothing the debtors can do to your Mom, she no longer has any control.
it sounds as though the nursing home is the best place for Mom so encourage her to stay. She had a major stroke and heart failure so other things are likely to go wrong with her health and you need to work to survive so are unable to provide care. It is a very sad situation and of course you wish it was different and you could take care of Mom but the fact is you can't so accept that and provide the love and support she needs at this time. People are often very depressed following a stroke so try not to add to this with the house problems.
So try and stop panicking in and let things fall as they may. The only things to worry about are your mental health and getting the best care you can for Mom.
Follow the advice you receive from the proper authorities and don't let anyone bully you into taking on responsibilities that are not yours.
The nursing home should have a social worker who can advise you about what has to be done or you can try legal aide if you can't afford a lawyer.
You will get through this and wonder why you worried so much when it is all over.
keep coming back here and let us know how you are doing. people here really do care.
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Sorry I mean I dont know all the steps.
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Yes thank you. I do have some breathing room. I loook at it from that perspective. At least the nursing home can take care of my mom while I get things done. I just know all of the steps with Medicaid kicking in. I read send letters to bill collectors. Currently she direct deposits some of her bills which I have to stop. I just know what and who to call first. I dont want to jump the gun and clean out in sub zero temps in the dark. Lol.
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The answer I gave above was considering that your mother was still able to remain in long-term care if she had qualified for Medicaid. If that is possible, it would give you some breathing room to get the other things done.
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I explained the reverse mortgage to the nursing home. They know. Medicaid is set to kick in. Unfortunately its impossible to completely clean out the house. The basement alone is moldy and anything is unsellable. I dont know whether to just let have the reverse mortgage have whats left. Currently the gas and power are on realizing in southwestern PA we get harsh winters.
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Cascade, this is one of the reasons I don't like reverse mortgages. They create such misery for people when dealing with matters like this. Did your mother qualify for Medicaid and has it started already? I hope so. If it has, the only thing there is to do is get the house cleaned out. If there is no money to be made by selling it, I would let the RM holders have it in lieu of payment. I wouldn't turn off the power or water until you were finished at the house.

The problems seem insurmountable when looked at as a whole, but if you take one step at a time on what needs to be done, it becomes more manageable. So if Medicaid is applied for, just get the house cleaned out. If the things are good enough, you could have an estate sale company come in to help. Sometimes you can find one that doesn't cost so much. (I remember a time when they only charged a percentage of the sale. Those days are gone now. I understand why, but it does make situations like dealing with estates harder.)

If you see things as needing to be done all at once, they will look overwhelming. Just take a step at a time.
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I went to a site for the state of PA for help for seniors. I'll PM you that link. It gives some info, but also suggest that you consult with an Expert to get all the info and advice that you need. It sounds like you have a lot going on with her situation. I know it's stressful, but, you'll feel better once you get some answers to your questions.

I hope that some members from around her who live in PA will chime in. Weekends are usually slow, but, I'll try to keep your thread active and hopefully, you'll get more answers.

I would be careful with turning off the electricity, because then the pipes can freeze and you'll have a mess.

What type of care will your mom's doctor say she needs? Nursing home? Assisted living?
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