Buying a house with an elderly in-law. How can i protect him and my family.

Go to an elder law attorney. Do not pass go...do not collect $100.

Yes. Be very careful with this. His medicaid eligibility will not kick in till he's broke. After he dies, assuming he's been on medicaid for awhile, medicaid will want reimbursed from the estate including his stake in the house or maybe the total value of the house. Lawyer up.

Besides the question regarding Medicaid.... there would be the family dynamic issues when buying in with a parent.

My sig other had put a down payment on his daughter and son-in-law's house years ago when they were first married, and to this day he is still telling them what to do regarding the house, yada, yada, yada, even though his name is not on the deed. And when he gets upset with them, he will start saying he wished he never gave them that down payment.... [sigh].

Whose idea is all this? Do they understand what the compliance is for Medicaid as far as application documentation & their copay is concerned?

Medicaid requires a 5 year look back on all financials & assets. The house he sold would have been recorded at the county level at the courthouse and also with tax assessor & both dovetail to state. It will be known & to the penny what & when house sold. If he got 150k from house and he gets SS & retirement plus has any other savings then he will need to spend all on himself or his care till he has only 2k in assets. 2k is the maximum for assets. Medicaid is an "at need" entitlement limited to those impoverished.

Any gifting - like 100large to you all for 2/3 of the down payment - would be subject to a transfer penalty in which Medicaid will not pay. Penalty varies by state but for Tx that amount would mean 645 days that he would be ineligible from the day he applied for Medicaid & already in a NH. So you better be prepared to pay NH or move him back into the house.

In addition his home or whatever % ownership he has will be subject to a claim or lien by the state through the required MERP policy. Also once he is in a NH on Medicaid, all his monthly income will be required to be paid to the NH - this is his co-pay or SOC / share of cost. You all better be able to any for everything on the house - mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, etc - as FIL will have no -none - nada of his $ to pay.

If FIL is looking at needing a facility in the near future, really the options are limited. Applying for Medicaid allows for the State to get an all access pass to their life. Speak with an elder law attorney.