Follow
Share

It feel like everything has been dropped on my shoulders. My mom needs to be in a NH now but I'm the only one working on it. Almost four hundred pages on documents printed just to find out how screwed her application for Medicaid is going to be. If she manages to get into the NH the $6800 price tag goes on my credit card to avoid cutting into the bank balance that they would have to split. I would have to hope I am repaid from her share. With her sundowning reaching epic proportions which allows for little to no sleep. I can't take much more of this. I actually hope for cancer. I hope for a heart attack. I hope for anything that will take this away from me.


I wanted to help. I want to be her for her but now I just want out!

Find Care & Housing
And how do you propose for her to pay you back?

ALL of her money has to be used to pay for her care; not to pay back loans, even if that money that you laid out was to pay for her care, it LOOKS like a gift to Medicaid.

I wish you well, Gremlin. I sincerely hope that you can get those around you to see a lawyer who understand Medicaid law.

Think perhaps dad may need nh Medicaid within 5 years?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Report
Gremlin Sep 6, 2018
My dad's income from SS would be less than the minimum requirement. He would retain a portion of her SS. I would be paid back over time from that.
(0)
Report
Gremlin, you need to talk to MEDICAID, not the nursing home.

Either you keep saying these things to your Dad and he's not listening to you, in which case you need to withdraw your support, call the Area Agency on Aging and tell THEM that your parents are in need of support , that you will no longer be on site

OR

You aren't listening to all the folks here who are telling you this.

There is a difference between countable and non-countable assets on the one hand and income on the other.

Countable assets are properties in excess of one car and one home. Those other properties, if they are unsaleable, can be made into non-assets through some legal thing that and ELDER CARE lawyer can do.

YOUR DAD NEEDS a lawyer, A certified elder care lawyer.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Report

Just read one of your posts. Personnally I would not go thru the home. I would go directly to Medicaid. Too many different scenarios for a NH SW or finance officer to understand every in and out.

Do Mom and Dad own more than one house? More than one car? Dad can have one of each. Others will have to be sold. How much money do they have together? That counts all CDs, IRAs, sock, bonds, shares, etc. Not sure how Medicaid will have you split this up but lets say it comes to 80k. 40k is your Moms. You will need to spend her 40k down. About 6 months of care will use that. More if they figure her SS into the equation.
You can prepay her funeral to help spend down.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

I wouldn't use your money. I was directed to not do this. No guarentee you will ever see it. When the money is split, Moms portion would have to be spent down, the 6800 can go towards that.

Why 400 pages. Did u sit down the a Medicare caseworker?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
Gremlin Sep 6, 2018
It's better for them split the full amount of their bank account and then pay me back from her spend down.
(0)
Report
Gremlin, they are NOT too rich to get Medicaid. They are too stubborn to get and pay for advice.

Have you thought about setting boundaries with your folks? And not simply giving up your life to enable their whims and foibles?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Report
Gremlin Sep 5, 2018
Too rich . . . meaning they have too much to make it a simple task. One house and one bank account and she would have qualified easily. The extras have done little for them but bury them in red tape.

My last ditch effort will be on Friday (if I survive that long). I meet with the nursing home financial director with my almost 400 pages of information to see what the hell we can do to make this happen. My sister and her husband will be in town and I might just get some much needed backup.
(0)
Report
Yes...why is this your responsibility? Why are you paying the $6800? And to avoid cutting into WHOSE bank account?
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to CTTN55
Report
Gremlin Sep 5, 2018
My parents account. They are right in the royally screwed zone. Too poor to pay for NH. Too rich too get medicaid. They're too old and broken to take care of this place and too damned stubborn to let it go.
(0)
Report
Why is her care your financial responsibility? Say no. Leave.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Report