My husband of 50 yrs has always been a stubborn, stoic and emotionally unavailable person. John Wayne type personality. Two years ago he developed dementia. I am the sole caregiver, other than a home health aide that comes for 1 hr 3x week. Lately he is refusing to let me help him wash, only a sponge bath, or change his Depends. Every day it's a battle no matter how I try to sweet talk him or bribe him. If I wait till he goes to the bathroom I can pull down his pants and rip the Depends off, but with great resistance and yelling. My neighbors must think he's being abused! Then, after they are off he refuses to put on the clean ones. Yesterday I spent 6 hrs before he finally put on Depends, but not before it left a distinct odor or urine on the couch. I then had to use the upholstery cleaner and put protective pads underneath the cover of the seats for next time.
Anyway, I'm totally burned out physically, I'm 73 with health issues , and emotionally on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I don't want to do this anymore and I am not equipped to do it anymore.
Question, I can't afford a memory care facility and am not sure if a diagnosis of Dementia qualifies him to enter into a skilled nursing home facility. I believe he'd have to be in the hospital for 3 days first then transferred. But as a hospice patient, he can't go to the hospital or rehab.
Although he's on Hospice, you'd never know it as he's mobile and his health is stable, and he has no pain, mainly stage 4 kidney disease, no dialysis.
We only have Medicare but will probably qualify for Medicaid once limited funds are spent down. Any information on nursing home admissions would greatly be appreciated.