I have been taking care of my 92-year-old husband solo for 9 months although it seems like much longer. I am 74 and came off 3 years of treatment for ovarian cancer and lymphoma in April. He cannot use his legs, so is wheelchair bound and depends on me to get on and off the toilet, for help getting washed and dressed, and many times asks me to wheel him from one room to another. His mind is mostly OK although I suspect there is some decline. He also has stage 4 congestive heart failure. I am so tired of this. We have talked to hospice, and he qualifies for their help. I don't know that I am asking a question here, more like blowing off steam, but I feel exhausted, resentful, and put upon. I can't remember the last time I felt happy. I guess I just wanted to sound off.
He has Hospice now but they only come two ore times a week to bathe him and a nurse once a week to check on him. I have bit the bullet and have hired someone to come in for two hrs a day.
Hospice has been mostly a support system which I appreciate having someone in our corner. If you have a problem they will try and help but if you need more than that, you need to hire someone to come in.
i fight depression everyday but the support hospice gives has made it tolerable.
Good luck.
As I write this I just watched my father lock me out of the house. Not on purpose He has dementia and doesn't do a thing for himself but loves to turn off lights and lock doors. It's ok, though, because I was smart enough to bring my keys with me so I can just walk around the house and come in the front door...
I am concerned that if my cancer reoccurs I won't be able to do chemo and also care for him. He has a son who is in Florida. He moved there when all of this started. Can't depend on him for much,
Husband has talked about stopping eating and drinking but wants to wait and see who wins the election first. Is this crazy or what?
I sure and sorry and I sure do wish you the very best ongoing.
Just when things were starting to calm down, I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, out of the blue, from a pain I was seen for in the ER. Then I started immunotherapy and had a very, very bad reaction to it. It put my cancer into remission but left me with a big disability causing dh to be MY caregiver now for the past 19+ months.
To say we're tired and have medical fatigue is a gross understatement. I feel your pain, my friend. I hope the cancer never comes back, but if it does, you'll have chemo and get dh into a SNF with hospice. Period. I hope you will consider your life as important as his, and recognize when YOU need medical attention and step back from your caregiver role. Just as I expect my dh to step back from his caregiver role if he needs medical attention. I hope you get dh on hospice now. Take the extra layer of support. If my cancer comes back and can't be treated with surgery, I'll call hospice for myself since I cannot take immunotherapy again.
We have to put those "what if's" out of our minds and do what we can to enjoy the moments in life, appreciate the beauty of the small things. Take it day by day because that's all ANY of us has anyway, in reality. I wish you good health and your husband no pain and suffering during the rest of his journey. God bless you both as you love one another through these moments.
God bless you as well.