How do I deal with a bully brother that is misusing his POA for his own agenda?

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not doing what mom wants- but has been getting away with it because I was intimidated-
I am not anymore- he refuses to let me see moms possessions without signing a release-I have no idea what her estate involves-
he still will not tell me what his inventory was - as he secretly packed up and closed the apt without allowing me to be there-
he is an angry and vindictive person who refuses to show any compassion , ethics or morality-
I was the one who cared for her for over 10 years- and he cut me out- and I let him-
and I will not allow it any more-
idont know if I am asking a question or just letting off steam-
he claims he is doing me a favor but I have to sign away on this release form first-
I am not signing something that I have no idea what her estate contains-
poor mpm- she never wanted this-
this was his agenda all along-
I fuming- going to go for a walk to get rid of this negative energy-
I haven't posted in months- ive been sick-and drained-this time he has pushed e too far-
I don't see why I have to shell out for lawyer when he always said she had nothing of value- now he talks of and estate sale to pay for her care at the nh- when her insurance runs out- but something isn't making sense-
thanks guys for just letting me vent-
gotta get rid of all this negative and harmful energy that I am wasting on this ass and his narcissistic ,condescending attitude-

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If you have any property in the house, you could call the Police and be allowed in. I am not going to harp on you about what you have said about your sibling!! I AM IN THE SAME BOAT AND MY SIBLING HAS STATED HE WANTS TO HURT ME! People do not realize how crazy sibs can get when POA comes into play or when they just feel like it is an entitlement!!
I have been there, and it is horrifying!! Find an attorney and see if they have a free first time meeting or call. Talk to them about everything, see what they say and go from there!
I do not understand how your brother became POA the day before your mothers death?

I wish you the best and I understand where you are coming from and am here if you want to vent!!
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Hate yes....Be happy that they died a painful death? That's a little over the top IMO. Of course, it might have been the one that said it, (Which reinforced my opinion of them) That prompted my post. I hate my sister but I would NOT be dancing on her grave if she suffered a painful disease and died!
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BoniChak - aren't we allowed to hate our nasty siblings, too? to rejoice when Karma bites the right person in the posterior?

Not the correct thing to do, but all too human.
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The more you educate yourself regarding your legal rights in this matter the better outcome. Don't let your headstrong bully brother get away with the things you claim he's doing. Don't approach the situation with a head full of steam, just be principled and forthright, you know you're in the right, your brother, for whatever reason whether it be for personal enrichment or otherwise IS WRONG! Sometimes our siblings just freak out during the last years of our parents' lives, don't take it personal, it's negative energy, don't go there.

- best

-out here
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For Petunia, l have answered in your Wall since Q & A not directly related to Bully thread.
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Shadow child, I believe you will need to consult an ETHICAL elder law attorney.
It is going to cost you but get something- good info of what actions are available
and advised. If the first attorney seems to be a waste of time and money try another. I do suggest looking for the elder law specialist though. Stay strong.
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I do not know were you live, and I do not know the laws in your state, but I hold the POA for my (still living) father. I handle all of bills, and other financial duties, I am also excutor of the Trust. The siblings of my father's second wife, who are in the trust started telling everyone that my siblings and I were spending all of the money, they even sent Adult Protective Services to my father's house to make sure that I was not spending his money, not about his health, only the money. I was there that day and she was asking my dad questions about his money, he did not know anything, and told her to talk to me, I keep tight books, and all was in order, I even was able to show how they had taken money from there mother before her death, the accountant I hired when I started handling the money, does my father's taxes , and I got a accounting program, I have nothing to hide, I even gave my sister, who now shares POA with me, access to the banks records. Now my point, if your brother was doing nothing wrong, he would be glad to share the information with you. Just like the siblings of my dad's ex called Adult Protective Services, and told them that I was abusing my father;s money, maybe that may be a reason for you to do the same. They dropped the claims, because I was doing nothing wrong and had accountability, you need to get in-touch with an attorney, tell them you are concerned that your mom's money is being mis-handled, you have a right to have the financial and bookkeeping audited. Like the other poster stated, start documentation, record a conversation with your mom, stating on the recording, that she is aware of the taping. Like I said at the beginning of this post, you need to get some help, find out the law requarding your situation in your state. Good Luck.
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Got satisfaction from your brothers death? oh my! Oh, is that judgemental? Oops, so sorry. That sentence just blew my mind.
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@almost everyone here, you MUST look into the relevant laws *in your jurisdiction*. No one here can give anything but VERY general advice, which isn't enough to actually solve a PoA or estate problem. For specific advice, you MUST speak to a lawyer about all the particulars of your case. AND you should do your own research and learning so that you can have a more productive discussion with the lawyer.

As I said upthread, most jurisdictions (states) have general info posted on their websites, estate law firms have info on their websites, and librarians can help you.

Be aware that if you do not educate yourself and take action regarding PoA or executor misconduct there is essentially ZERO chance of it being detected or satisfactorily resolved by sheer luck.
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I have a question for CarolLynn: Just to clarify, POA expires upon the death of the person one is POA for? And then, in order for the former POA to dispose of the deceased individual's estate and belongings, one must become the Executor of their Will? Is this correct, because I have no idea, and it would really help me to know. Also, do you know what happens if the person one has POA for dies without a making a Will? Just curious...
PS-It has been my experience that involving the PD in ANYTHING usually becomes a hideous mess. But that's just one person's experience.
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