I asked a couple months ago concerning taking care of my grandparents when I didn’t want to and I was basically forced to do it. I told my mother in law that August I was no longer going to be taking care of them due to my 4 year old starting Pre K and my husband was fine with that. I emailed my hour person and I may get to go back sooner, just depends on the job openings. I told her that and she told me “well I’ll have to do what I have to”. She is bullying me into staying at a job I hate, isn’t good for my mental health (I’m having panic attacks and anxiety due to this) and I’m slacking on my duties as a mother and wife. I realize it’s a bad situation for her because both parents are refusing to go into a nursing home or have someone else besides me look after them. That’s not fair to me. I have a life too. I’m not even blood! Should I feel guilty about my desicion? Because I sure don’t.

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In addition, it might help MIL to understand that she doesn't have to give up her life because her mom would prefer not to go to a care facility. These decisions need to be made with EVERYONE'S wellbeing in mind, not just grandma's.

Does gramma have resources to pay for in home care? Respite for her daughter? Her resources should be used to pay for her care.
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You are absolutely doing the right thing. Your grandparents' care is not your responsibility. Don't let anyone guilt you into thinking that it is. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your immediate family!
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Feel guilty about what? Growing a pair and standing up for yourself and your family took a lot of strength and you should be proud of yourself for doing so. MIL is obviously ticked off and probably a little scared what’s going to happen to her life now, too. Too bad. Congratulate yourself on sticking to your guns.
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No child or grandchild has any responsibility to provide any care that compromises their ability to take of themselves or their spouse and children.
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Don’t let it continue. As long as you fill in, the other family members will let it go. Save yourself since no one else will.
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