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The main reason is that he doesn't get up and go to the bathroom when he needs it. I can't take care of him and my brother is tired my dad can't travel too far for a doctor.

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what does dad say? has he been included in the conversation? it might help.
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Two questions:

1. Where do you think your father would best be cared for, and by whom?
2. What are your main objections to his moving to a (carefully-chosen) nursing home?
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littlebit, move in with him for a week. Stay there 24/7 and you will see why brother is tired. Your intentions are excellent, but you are only one person and dad needs more than that. He does not want you to wipe his butt, let a nurse do that. You can enjoy his company and he can keep his dignity.
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Democratically speaking, you're outnumbered 2-1.

And if you can't take care of your dad and your other brother can't take of your dad, who is supposed to do the caregiving? If no one can care for your dad a nursing home is your only option.

It's difficult to see a parent at the stage where they need a nursing home. I went through it with my dad too. But sometimes that's the reality.
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